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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26181943">Dust Covered Dreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musicania/pseuds/Musicania'>Musicania</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jackbum Title Fics [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Kid Fic, M/M, Non-Idol AU, Song fic, single-dad Jaebeom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:27:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>31,858</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26181943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musicania/pseuds/Musicania</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson travelled to Korea as a teenager with huge hopes for his future. Years later those dreams had been buried so deep under reality that Jackson didn't even recognize the boy who dreamed them. Feeling lost, Jackson contimplates calling it quits and moving back home</p><p>But then Jackson meets a little girl and her father who make him think that maybe Korea was exactly where he wanted to be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Jaebum | JB/Jackson Wang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jackbum Title Fics [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1411069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>186</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>NEW FIC! Aka, that time where I'm reminded how shitty I am at summaries. </p><p>This is a part of the Title Fic series (I'd actually been working on it for a while, but it fits with one of the songs I've not yet included) but because it's chaptered I'm not going go tell you which song it's based off of just yet. Though in all honestly you'll probably be able to guess. I didn't exactly make it hard to figure out. </p><p>This is more of a prologue than a chapter one but I'm too lazy to retitle it and then have all the rest of the chapters be off by one. I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jackson snapped shut the buckles on his guitar case with numb fingers, having lost all sensation in them well over an hour ago.</p><p>He reached over and picked up his well worn backpack, bursting at the seams with his amp and microphone equipment. It was heavy and the mic stand didn't quite fold small enough to fit and stuck out the top, but Jackson didn't care. It was secure enough that it wasn't going to fall out as Jackson travelled.</p><p>He took one last glance around the subway station where he'd busked for the last nine months before turning away. "Good fucking riddance," he muttered to himself as he walked away. He'd hated that place. He didn't make any money and there were a few bars in the area so Jackson was constantly dealing with drunk people harassing him that he sucked or that the songs he was singing were crap. He was glad he'd been granted a permit for a better spot in the new year.</p><p>Busking in South Korea was…a process. One he'd never intended to understand back when he moved to Korea at eighteen hoping to become an idol. But…that dream just wasn't meant to be. There were so many people more talented and more attractive than him and Jackson had never really been given the opportunity to debut. After five years he was twenty three and, after missing out on debuting with a new boy group, had next to no chance of achieving that dream.</p><p>The company released him from his contract, luckily one he didn't have to pay for since he'd done everything the company had asked; there were just people better than he was who were a better investment. At the time he had no intentions of going back to Hong Kong. He was determined to make his dream come true one way or another. He'd been working a part time job while training and bought himself a cheap amp and microphone and took to busking. Korea had a rich busking culture and Jackson thought he'd get his face and music out that way.</p><p>It nearly got him beat up. He hadn't taken the time to look into the busking rules first and it got him unofficially blacklisted from some of the more popular places. There were two types of buskers in Korea: those who wanted to gain a following and ones who wanted to make money. Some, like Jackson, wanted to do both. Jackson hadn't realized that he needed a permit to busk if he was going to collect money. Something about the income not being taxable and the government still wanted money in addition to permits being a way to control the number of buskers in popular or indoor spaces regardless if they were collecting money or not.</p><p>Jackson didn't have a permit. Didn't know he needed one. There was an incredibly talented dance group who had been busking near where Jackson had first set up. Some of the members were livid that Jackson had invaded their space and was taking away their profits. Nearly called the cops. It became this whole thing. Probably made worse by the fact that after he was given his permit he went back to busk there, just to spite them. Some of them still held a grudge even after all this time. </p><p>Jackson would forever be grateful that one of the members who <em>didn't</em> hold a grudge was Mark Tuan. He'd moved to Korea from the States the year before Jackson and had been right where Jackson was. Had been promised the world, had been made to believe he could be famous, had been convinced to move away from everything he knew only to end up unsuccessful. He helped show Jackson where to go to get permits and helped ease him into this whole busking life.</p><p>His group mates hated him for it, but Jackson and Mark had some fun with it after they discovered that they could both speak Mandarin. They used it to their advantage. Mark's group mates thought they were cursing each other out but in reality Mark and Jackson were just using Mandarin to aggressively remind each other to eat and to dress more warmly. They figured out eventually that Jackson and Mark were friends, but it had been fun while it lasted. </p><p>• • •</p><p>Jackson made his way home; home being an absolutely shitty building and an apartment that was barely big enough for his bed and a hot plate. He opened the door to the stairwell, ignoring the shriek of the metal as it scraped against the ill-fitting frame. He paused there, listening for footsteps that might mean his landlord was coming for him. His rent was due tomorrow and he didn't have enough to cover it yet. He wasn't in the mood to end the year being threatened with eviction. She wouldn't actually throw him out. He'd hadn't paid his rent on time for virtually the entire time he'd lived here and she hadn't evicted him yet, though she'd threatened it every time they spoke. Which was why Jackson crept up the stairs as quietly as he could, exiting on the second floor of the four storey building.</p><p>His apartment was next to the stairwell, which was convenient for landlord dodging, less convenient when he wanted to get a good night's sleep. The walls in this place were glorified cardboard and Jackson heard every person go up and down those stairs whenever they spoke. Or opened the door. Or breathed too loudly.</p><p>The key to his unit always stuck, but Jackson was used to jiggling it at a certain angle to engage the lock and let himself inside the whopping 180 square foot paradise he called home. It was literally just a room, hardly bigger than his bedroom back home in Hong Kong. There wasn't much to it. He had a bed in the back left corner, kitchen sink and a hot plate in the back right corner and not much else. A cheap rack with his few articles of clothing hanging in between, at least the ones that weren't hanging up in the bathroom drying after being washed in the bathroom sink. He had a coffee table that he'd bought at a second hand store out of necessity because he kept tripping over things he'd placed on the floor as he had nowhere else to put them. It had a crooked leg and leaned to the left, but as long as Jackson didn't put anything round on it it was fine.</p><p>That was it. That was his apartment.</p><p>It sucked, but Jackson honestly considered himself lucky to be there. He'd lived in worse. When he first set out on his own in Korea he'd been forced into a basement with two other equally desperate people. <em>That</em> was horrific. They never got any sunlight, he was constantly sneezing and his eyes were always running from the dust. There were fucking bugs <em>everywhere</em> and their laundry room constantly smelled like sewage. It was hell.</p><p>From there he'd moved into a dorm which was mostly used by students that was barely larger than a king-sized bed from wall to wall. The entire space being consumed by a twin sized bed on one half of the room and about three feet of walking space on the other. That was it. About thirty square feet total. So this place was like a mansion compared to the closet he'd lived in previously. </p><p>In a weird way he was proud of his apartment, even as he hated it and was in constant fear of losing it. It was still his, and it was an improvement from where he'd been, a sign that <em>something</em> was getting better in his life even though he felt like he was just constantly spinning his wheels, working <em>so</em> hard but going nowhere. It might have been only a single step, but at least it was a step up.</p><p>He closed the door behind him, locking the three locks that had been put in place before he lived there but that he made good use of. In reality he wasn't even sure they'd work given how flimsy the door was, but they made him feel better so he always used them when he was home.</p><p>He dropped his guitar and equipment bag in the corner at the foot of his bed, crossing to the coffee table and turning on the battery powered lantern. He had to pay for his energy usage and he found that replacing the batteries in the lantern cost less than using the lights. The only energy he used was to power the hotplate and to charge his phone and amp power supply.</p><p>He ignored the growling of his stomach as he picked up the lantern and carried it to the bathroom, putting it in the sink and moving his now-dry clothes so he could shower. Mark had invited him over to a New Year's Eve party he was hosting. Jackson could eat there.</p><p>Thirty minutes later he was showered and changed into his 'nicer' jeans and sweater, pulling his boots back on and stepping out of his apartment once more.</p><p>His hair was still damp and he shivered as the frigid December air hit him when he stepped outside again, prompting him to reach up and pull his hat a little lower over his head.</p><p>Mark lived within a few subway stops away from Jackson, which meant the two could hang out frequently without costing Jackson a ton of money. Mark was actually one of the few friends Jackson still saw with any kind of regularity. A lot of his other friends stopped asking if he wanted to hang out because Jackson's answer was always no. Not because he didn't want to, but having a social life in this day and age meant having money. Something that had never occurred to him until he had none. He couldn't just grab dinner or drinks because that could mean spending an entire day's earnings depending on the restaurant chosen. Sometimes a weeks earnings.</p><p>Mark usually just asked him to come over and play games with him. Jackson wasn't big on gaming, nor was he very good at them, but he appreciated Mark so much for the continued offers regardless. He kept Jackson from feeling isolated and alone.</p><p>He could hear the music coming from Mark's apartment as he stepped off the elevator. Jackson knew Koreans were more tolerant of noise like that than other places in the world, but he'd always been amazed that Mark had never been kicked out.</p><p>"Oh. It's you," A familiar face said, giving Jackson a flat look as he opened the door to Mark's apartment.</p><p>Jackson chuckled. "It's good to see you too Sanghoon."</p><p>Sanghoon was one of the dancers from Mark's old performance group, one of the founding members of Jackson recalled correctly. He was also one of the few who still held a grudge against Jackson for taking away his income back then. Jackson had never figured out why. He'd made like ten bucks a day back then. It wasn't like he stealing substantial amounts of money from them. With the acrobatics of the dance group, they easily made far more money that Jackson did. </p><p>Sanghoon just rolled his eyes, "Come in. Mark told me to tell you there's food in the fridge with your name on it."</p><p>"Thanks," Jackson said, stepping into the overcrowded apartment. He saw a few faces he recognized, some of them waving across the room to him or calling out greetings. He didn't see Mark though, so he headed into the kitchen, figuring he'd catch up with the man sooner or later. It was about an hour to midnight and Mark loved fireworks. </p><p>He opened the fridge and found a bowl wrapped in plastic with his name literally written on it. He smiled and pulled it out of the fridge. It was the same food that Mark had prepared for the party, he'd never go that much out of his way, but Jackson appreciated the thoughtfulness considering he'd arrived over an hour after most people arrived. It was nice to have a selection of everything instead of just eating the leftovers that other people didn't want.</p><p>He grabbed a spoon from one of the drawers and made his way back into the living room, still looking for Mark before he got pulled into a conversation with another dancer from Mark's studio who Jackson liked quite a bit. </p><p>Three conversations later and Jackson wasn't convinced that Mark was even at his own party. Even after knowing the man for years Jackson hadn't figured out if he was an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert. He liked people, and was good with them. He frequently hosted parties whose attendance far exceeded the limits of his apartment and where everyone had a great time. But it wasn't uncommon for him to just…disappear on occasion.</p><p>Not seeing anyone else he wanted to talk to, Jackson found an empty chair and dragged it over to the windows, where fireworks would be set off in about twenty minutes in the public park not too far from Mark's apartment.</p><p>He sat there, only vaguely listening to the voices around him as he nursed his beer, letting his thoughts wander. Eight years. He'll have been in Korea for eight years this upcoming year. And what did he have to show for it? A shitty apartment that no one should be proud of?</p><p>He tried not to think about it all that often because it was depressing, but the longer he continued like this the heavier everything got. He'd had dreams once, dreams to be an international idol. To do something with his life. To use music to make people happy. Maybe his busking did that, but making thirty dollars a day didn't make <em>him</em> very happy. The weight of his unfulfilled dreams seems to get heavier with every layer of dust that got added as every day past with them left unfulfilled.</p><p>The weight of his lies to his parents were getting heavier too. He'd never intended to lie to his parents, and most days he convinced himself it wasn't <em>really</em> lying, just embellishing a little bit. Or omitting a few things every now and then. He'd never told his parents he was homeless for three days before he moved into the student dorm. He didn't tell his parents he ate ramen for at least a dozen meals every week. He didn't tell his parents about the time he'd gotten mugged, his guitar and rent payment being taken from him and still hadn't been recovered almost two years later.</p><p>A part of it was he didn't want of worry them. His mom would lose it if she ever found out how Jackson was living. But a part of it was that his father had been pretty adamant that moving to Korea was a waste of Jackson's time. That he should have gone into athletics. The stubborn part of Jackson didn't want to admit that his father had been right.</p><p>"There you are," a deep voice said from behind him.</p><p>Jackson looked behind him as Mark came up, perching on the edge of Jackson's chair. "There <em>I</em> am? Dude, I've been looking for you for like an hour." It must be almost midnight. He wasn't surprised that Mark had come back to see the fireworks.</p><p>"Needed a break," was all Mark said. "You found your food?"</p><p>Jackson nodded. "Yeah, thanks."</p><p>Mark just waved it off, like it was nothing. To Mark it probably was. "You looked mad when I came in. Everything okay?"</p><p>Jackson considered making a joke, saying that he got into a fight with Sanghoon, but he just couldn't. Everything just felt…numb at the moment. Like he'd been trapped in some kind of perpetual winter for so long and was now finally succumbing to the cold.</p><p>"Do you ever wish you'd never come to Korea?" Jackson asked quietly, unsure if Mark could even hear him over the music and the voices of the people who were actually having a good time.</p><p>"Sometimes," Mark replied, surprising Jackson.</p><p>"Wait, really?" Jackson questioned, looking up at him.</p><p>Mark nodded. "I met Grace's wife for the first time at their wedding. I don't get to see my nieces more than once a year. I feel like I barely know Joey sometimes. He was only fourteen when I moved out here." He was quiet for a moment. "It's hard."</p><p>"It is," Jackson agreed quietly. He tried not to think about his own niece. He'd only met her twice and she was already four. "Do you ever think about moving back to the States?"</p><p>Mark shook his head. "I don't. It's hard, yeah, and it's not at all what I thought my life in Korea would be like when I flew out here almost a decade ago, but I'm happy here."</p><p>"I want to be happy here," Jackson said. He loved Korea. Loved the city and the people and the culture and the friendships he'd made. Part of his reluctance to return home was because he didn't want to admit he'd been wrong, but a bigger part of it was that he just didn't want to leave.</p><p>Mark wrapped his arm around Jackson. "You will be. One day."</p><p>Jackson laughed humourlessly. "I've been here for eight years already Mark. That's… Maybe that's too many days. Maybe I should just accept that this was a mistake. Go home and start over."</p><p>Mark shook his head as some of the people crowded around the television started the countdown to midnight.</p><p><em>Ten</em>.</p><p>
  <em>Nine.</em>
</p><p>"That's the best part of New Year's Jackson."</p><p><em>Seven</em>.</p><p><em>Six</em>.</p><p>"It's a fresh start."</p><p><em>Four</em>.</p><p>"A chance for <em>everyone</em> to start over."</p><p>
  <em>Two.</em>
</p><p><em>One</em>.</p><p>"Happy New Year Jackson," Mark said, gently leaning his head against Jackson's temple. "And welcome to your new beginning."</p><p>Jackson stared at the fireworks through the window and thought about what Mark had said. He wanted it to be true, he did. But the realistic part of him thought that he'd need a miracle to find the kind of happiness he was yearning for.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well... What do we think? I hope you've all been taking good care of yourselves since we last spoke.</p><p>I'm not sure what the update schedule for this will be like but I'm certain it'll be more sporadic than my other fics. I'm going to try for updates every other week. So far I'm enjoying writing this one. Kids are so fun to write. If you have any Jackbum + kid (she's 5) scenarios you want me to include please let me know either through twitter (@musicaniawrites) or through my anonymous suggestion box <a href="http://freesuggestionbox.com/pub/wkcmlmg">here</a></p><p>See you in the next chapter 💚</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jackson smiled and bowed his thanks to a pair of teenage girls as they dropped a few bills into his guitar case that was laying open on the ground in front of him. They went to the high school near the subway stop if their uniforms were anything to go by. He was grateful to them; not a lot of teenagers even noticed he was there nevermind actually gave him money. </p><p>The girls waved and tucked their faces deeper into their scarves before ascending the steps up to street level. Jackson wished he could wear a scarf. It wasn't a good accessory for a busker though. People either wouldn’t hear him or it’d cover too much of his face and he knew that the only reason some people gave him money was because he was attractive. He couldn’t even wear gloves with fingers because then he couldn’t play his guitar. Winter sucked as a busker which was why Jackson was glad that he was at least able to have the cover of the subway station now. Open air busking in winter was brutal and dangerous.</p><p>When he looked down again there was a little girl standing in front him, looking up at him with bright eyes and a happy smile peeking out from her scarf. She was young, possibly somewhere around three or four, and bundled up tight in a sunny yellow snowsuit. Jackson returned the smile before looking around the space, trying to find the girl’s parents since she seemed to be by herself. There were a few people lined up at one of the transit card machines beside where Jackson was set up; he assumed one of them was with this girl. </p><p>He wrapped up the song he was performing and pushed his guitar around go his back so he could crouch down to be more at her level. “Where are your parents?” He asked, just to make sure. </p><p>She turned and pointed toward a man in a long black coat a few feet away who was adding funds to a transit pass at one of the machines like Jackson had suspected. Jackson watched him turn his head slightly, his eyes landing on his daughter, before facing the machine once more. “Can you sing Happy Birthday?” The little girl asked, drawing Jackson’s attention back to her.</p><p>He blinked at her. "Is it someone's birthday?" He asked stupidly. She wouldn't have been asking if it wasn't, but Jackson had never been asked that before. Which was somewhat surprising now that he thought about it. </p><p>The girl nodded, her smile growing. "It's my dad's birthday." She said, pointing to the man in the black coat. </p><p>"Oh wow, that's exciting," Jackson said. "How old is he now?"</p><p>"Old," the girl said with a completely straight face which made it very hard for Jackson to keep one of his own. "Can you sing him Happy Birthday with your microphone?"</p><p>Technically Jackson <em>could</em>, there was no one stopping him or dictating his setlist, but he wouldn't. While he personally would love to, as a busker he thought it was kind of tacky and he wouldn't subject all the innocent people just going about their day to that. He thought the idea was incredibly sweet though. It was one hundred percent something he himself would have done when he was a child. </p><p>"I would love to sing your dad happy birthday, but I'm actually not allowed to do that." He lied. </p><p>Her expression fell a bit. "Oh. Okay."</p><p>"Sorry kiddo," Jackson said, feeling guilty in the face of her disappointment. </p><p>"Everything alright?" A new voice said, Jackson looking up as the girl's father stepped away from the machine to join them, wrapping an arm around his daughter. </p><p>Jackson glanced up and got his first good look at the man. No wonder the little girl was so cute; her father was gorgeous. His face was all sharp lines and masculine edges and would probably look intimidating as fuck but with the warm look he was giving his daughter he just looked so soft and beautiful. </p><p>She looked up at her dad. "I wanted him to sing you happy birthday but he isn't allowed to," she explained sadly. </p><p>Her father looked mortified and Jackson had to fight so hard not to laugh. The flush of pink looked good on his cheeks. </p><p>"For what it's worth, happy birthday," Jackson told him, straightening up to be more at his level. Or as close as he could get as the man was two or three inches taller than he was.  </p><p>"Thank you," he said, still looking a bit embarrassed. </p><p>"You have a very thoughtful daughter," Jackson commented. </p><p>The man's expression absolutely melted as he looked down at his daughter again. Jackson sighed, wishing someone would look at him with such fondness. </p><p>"I know," he said. "I think I'll keep her."</p><p>Jackson chuckled as the girl looked up at her father in confusion. "I'll tell you what, I can't sing you happy birthday but I'll take a request if you have one. In the mood to hear anything in particular on your special day?"</p><p>Jackson hoped the man would pick something he knew. His repertoire was rather large, something he was quite proud of, but it was based off of where he busked: a lot of current kpop and international pop songs for places where younger crowds tended to gather, some classics for the older generations. Hell, he even knew some trot songs from his time working at a recreation centre that was mostly frequented by elderly women. He missed it there sometimes. He hardly made any money—those women didn’t have much to give—but they liked bringing him food instead. Everything from homemade noodles to kimchi. He hadn’t been so well-fed in months. Maybe he'd make an effort to go back there every few months, just to check in and make sure they were doing okay. </p><p>He knew better than to judge a person's music tastes by their looks, but this man didn't seem the type to fit into any of the genres that Jackson knew. </p><p>"Do you know Thursday?" He asked. </p><p>Jackson was admittedly surprised by the choice. He just didn't strike Jackson as the type of person to listen to upbeat, cute songs like that. He smiled though because it was one of his personal favorites. "I do know Thursday," he confirmed, pulling his guitar back around. "And it would be my honour to play it for you birthday boy," he said with a wink. </p><p>The man rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. </p><p>His little girl looked happy, seeming to have forgotten that she didn't get her way. Or perhaps she considered this to be just as good. </p><p>"I wish you good health and happiness in your upcoming year," Jackson said before moving back to his mic, his fingers plucking the opening notes of the song.</p><p>• • •</p><p>Jackson entered the Thai restaurant a block from his house on his way back home later that day. Not to eat, he couldn't afford to eat out again until he'd ensured he had enough to pay his rent, but to speak to the man currently behind the counter taking a couple's order. Jackson took a seat at one of the two tables the restaurant had to wait. </p><p>Once the couple had taken the table behind Jackson the man noticed him, pulling his sister over to cover the till before moving around and sitting opposite him.. "Hey Jack, long time to see," he said with the friendly smile that was never far from his face. </p><p>"Hey Bammie," Jackson replied with a smile of his own.</p><p>Bambam's mom owned the restaurant. Jackson had found them in one of his times of desperation. His guitar had needed restringing and Jackson needed to find odd jobs anywhere he could in order to eat. He went around to some of the local businesses asking if there was anything he could do. Bambam's mom took pity on him and let him help do various menial jobs around the restaurant. </p><p>He ended up working there off and on for a few months. Bambam's mom was really good about letting him pop in every now and then to help deliver orders or help with dishes when he was exceptionally short on cash. He didn’t know where he’d have ended up if it wasn’t for the Bhuwakul's. His landlord would have certainly made good on those eviction threats, Jackson was certain of that. </p><p>"Are you hungry?" Bambam asked. </p><p>They constantly offered food to Jackson which was something Jackson appreciated so much but wasn't something he often took them up on. Mostly because of a massive personality flaw that he possessed that made it near impossible for him to accept things if he didn't earn them. Despite being entirely broke and constantly on the verge of being homeless, he <em>hated</em> taking things for free, especially from people who barely had more than he did. A bowl of rice was about all he'd take without feeling guilty afterwards and even then he always made sure to order from them soon after. </p><p>He shook his head.  "Where's your mom?" Jackson asked instead. Bambam's mother was the biggest Rain fangirl Jackson had ever seen and there was usually always music leaking out from the kitchen, sometimes accompanied by her mediocre singing. The silence coming from behind the door to the kitchen was suspicious. </p><p>Bambam sent him a weird look. "She's at the new restaurant."</p><p>Jackson's stomach dropped. "Oh shit, I totally forgot." Kochakorn had moved to Korea with her four kids after her husband died almost twenty years ago. She worked her ass off for every single one of those years, working in restaurants of all kinds before eventually opening up one of her own. It was admittedly in a dumpier part of Seoul and it was essentially take-out only but it had a reputation for being the best Thai food in the area by far. She had finally gained enough of a reputation and enough funds to open a second restaurant, a fancier sit down one, in a better part of the city. Jackson had been saving for weeks to go and be there when it opened but then the hole in his old boots got too big to ignore and he'd needed to use those meager savings to get new boots. "I wanted to go on opening day," he said mournfully. He at least wanted to pop in and see the place, congratulate her and send his support. </p><p>Bambam sent him a warm smile. "Whenever you can make it she'll be over the moon to see you."</p><p>"I'll go soon," Jackson promised. </p><p>"So how's the new spot going?" Bambam asked leaning back in the chair.</p><p>"Good," Jackson said. "Money seems better than the last station." It was hard to say if it would stay that way, but in his experience the weeks leading up to the holidays were usually the best in terms of money, and the weeks after the holidays were usually the worst as people realized how much they'd spent over the holidays. He only busked at the subway stop twice a week—one morning and one evening to ensure the riders didn't get bored of him too quickly and stop donating—but he'd made more in both of those days than he'd ever made at the previous stop. Jackson hoped that was a good sign. </p><p>"No one vomit in your guitar case?"</p><p>Jackson glared at Bambam's grinning face. That has been the most revolting moment of his life. Not only had he had to scrub vomit out of his guitar case but off the money that had been in there too because he'd needed it for rent. That was the moment where he almost convinced himself to call his parents, tell them everything and beg for them to get him a ticket for him to come home. Cleaning a stranger's vomit off of money he needed to keep himself from being homeless had been a <em>'what the fuck am I doing</em>' moment for him. He'd talked himself out of moving home, mostly because he hated admitted defeat, but he still wasn't sure he had an answer to that question.</p><p>"I hate you," Jackson said. </p><p>Bambam smiled. "I'm glad it's going well so far."</p><p>"I mean, it's been a week. But I think I can breathe a little easier," Jackson admitted. </p><p>"Good," Bambam said. "I mean it, <em>good</em>. You deserve the universe to give you a break after all the shit it's put you through."</p><p>Jackson chuckled. "I'm not sure that's how it works."</p><p>Bambam shook his head. "It is. I believe that." He looked serious, which was uncharacteristic of the young man. "You've worked your ass off over these past few years and you are definitely the most selfless person I know. Good things are going to come your way. And if they don't, just let me know who I need to fight."</p><p>That was exactly why Jackson loved Bambam. An eternal optimist and feircely protective over those he'd deemed to be important; Jackson considered himself lucky to be in that category. </p><p>"Not sure you can fight the universe, Bam," Jackson said, feeling Bambams optimism rub off on him a little. "But I appreciate the offer nonetheless."</p><p>Bambam smiled. "I can always ask mum if she's still looking for a few more wait or kitchen staff at the new restaurant. Just until the universe gets its shit together of course."</p><p>Jackson was so grateful that he had people in his life who extended him opportunities like this. In a way it made him feel ungrateful for not immediately jumping on the offer and accepting. He should, he told himself. It would be better money than he was making now and give him some financial security that he'd been desperately looking for for years now. He'd met other people in the last few years who had nothing and who would have considered the offer life-changing. </p><p>But… Being a waiter or washing dishes wasn't what he saw for himself. He knew it would only be temporary and there was nothing wrong with it; he had nothing but respect for people who did that job, but he'd moved to a new country to make music, to make a difference in people's lives through music. It was a dream he should have given up by now, he knew that. He was twenty six years old, failed at being an idol and failed to use busking as a means of getting his music out there. Those were really his only two opportunities. The rational part of his brain told him that new dreams were long overdue. He'd never be a musician. </p><p>But…that was the only dream he'd ever had. If he wasn't going to be a musician, what was he going to do with his life? When he tried to imagine a new future, all he saw was black. </p><p>He sent Bambam a smile that he hoped didn't look as wooden as it felt. He was grateful, he <em>was</em>, he just wasn't happy. "That would be great. Thank you."</p><p>Bambam's smile softened. "Just for right now. Just to keep your head above water long enough for something even better to come along."</p><p>He would trust Bambam and his optimism and he'd trust the universe that Bambam believed in. Despite himself he found himself looking forward to seeing what good things this so-called universe had in store for him. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I DID intend to update this a week ago, I really did, but my workplace has recently reopened and it's been chaos and my job has changed three times in the last two weeks and I honestly still don't have any idea what I'm doing... So that sucks. The only reason I was able to finish this chapter was because my mom broke her foot (2020 really is the gift that keeps on giving...) and I had to sit with her in various waiting rooms for over two hours. (For those wondering, she's okay. More annoyed than anything else at this point now that the initial swelling has gone down and her pain is being better managed).</p><p>I'll update when I am able to. The second half of this is essentially done, so once I hit that it'll be smooth sailing. I just have to get there first.</p><p>Hope everyone is taking care of themselves! I'll see you in the next chapter 💚</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There will probably be more typos then usual in this chapter. Sorry in advance.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A shadow fell over Jackson as he attempted to break his high score of some stupid app Bambam had downloaded onto his phone that he'd started playing out of an utter lack of anything else to do and the fact that it didn't require wifi to play. He was currently taking a break and he usually tried to ignore the people walking past him on the platform who might have given him money if he'd been playing music instead of games. </p><p>He hated doing taking breaks, but he'd pushed himself too much before and lost his voice. He'd rather lose ten minutes every now and then than lose his voice and be forced to take several days off. Usually he just played guitar music as he rested his voice, but today was exceptionally cold and even in the underground of the subway Jackson's fingers felt a bit raw and could use a break. He made a mental note to thank Mark for the warm finger-tipped gloves he'd given Jackson for Christmas so he could keep his hands warm and use his phone at the same time. </p><p>He looked up to see who the shadow belonged to and found the little girl who asked him to sing happy birthday to her father a few weeks ago standing in front of him, her father standing behind her. Jackson had noticed them occasionally during the three weeks he'd been busking at their station, both during the morning and evening days Jackson sang there. He wasn't exactly looking for either of them, but there weren't a lot of kids her age flowing in or out of the subway. Her bright yellow snowsuit also made her stand out among the sea of black and grey business suits. </p><p>"This is for you," she said, pulling a messily folded piece of paper out of her pocket and dropping it in Jackson's guitar case. </p><p>Jackson looked at it in surprise.</p><p>"She asked me the other day why people kept dropping money in your case," her father said, reaching out wrapping an arm around his daughter's shoulders "I told her it was people's way of saying thank you for singing to them." He made a face at that, seemingly dissatisfied with the explanation, but Jackson thought it was as good as any for a little kid. "She said she wanted to thank you too so she made you something at school today." His expression shifted to something more apologetic, like he thought Jackson would think they were just wasting his time. </p><p>Jackson honestly thought it was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard. Sure, it wouldn't pay any of his bills, but it reminded him that the reason he came to Korea, the reason he wanted to be an idol, wanted to perform and make music. He wanted to make music because he wanted to make people happy. </p><p>Smiling to himself he reached out and picked up the piece of paper the girl had dropped. "Can I look at it?"</p><p>She nodded, a big smile on her face. </p><p>Jackson unfolded the paper to see a crayon rendition of what Jackson thought might have been himself. Assuming she saw him as someone who had no hair, no neck and only three fingers on each hand. She had drawn something in one of his hands that was probably supposed to be a guitar but looked more like a mutated squash. The background was filled with poorly drawn hearts and stars and happy faces. It was frankly awful, but it was also the sweetest thing that anyone had given Jackson in what felt like years. </p><p>He looked back up at the girl who was rocking back and forth as she waited for Jackson's reaction. "You drew this all by yourself?" He asked. "Did anyone help you?"</p><p>The girl smiled and shook her head. </p><p>Jackson did his best to look impressed. He glanced up at the girl's father. "You, sir, have an artist for a daughter."</p><p>He smiled as he pulled his daughter against his legs in a hug. </p><p>Jackson turned back to the little girl whose whole face was filled with her smile. "It's beautiful. Thank you so much for making this for me. I'll treasure it," Jackson said, meaning every word. He refolded it and tucked it into the pocket of his jacket. </p><p>The girl absolutely beamed at him, somehow managing to outshine the smile she'd been wearing a moment ago. "My teacher said it was the best."</p><p>Jackson nodded seriously. "I'll bet your teacher has seen a lot of art too. I think we should believe her."</p><p>A metallic hissing came from the tunnel next to where Jackson was set up, indicating the train was approaching the station. Jackson turned to feel the rush of wind that proceeded the train hit his face, the train whizzing by a moment later. </p><p>He turned back to the duo with a soft smile. "I guess that's you, eh? Thank you for this," he said sincerely. "Enjoy the rest of your day."</p><p>The father returned the smile. "You too."</p><p>"Bye!" The little girl said, reaching up to take her father's hand as they moved to join the line waiting to enter the train. </p><p>Jackson waved in response, watching the pair load onto the train with the other throngs of people who packed the crowded platform. </p><p>As the train pulled out of the station, Jackson swung his guitar back in front of him, plucking the strings lightly, still wearing a warm smile on his face. </p><p>• • •</p><p>He noticed the pair a lot more after that. The little girl always looked his way immediately after stepping off the train, sending him a smile and a wave that was frequently blocked from all the bodies crowding the station as she and her father  made their way toward the exit. Sometimes in the evening they'd stop close enough that she came over to say hi to Jackson while they waited for their train, occasionally dropping more arts and crafts projects in his case that she'd made at school. Her father always apologized afterward but Jackson honestly didn't mind at all. She was an endearing little thing and Jackson had always had a weakness for kids. It didn't hurt that he usually threw in a few dollars whenever his daughter gifted Jackson more artwork, like he felt the need to compensate Jackson for being forced to accept his daughter's crappy artworks. </p><p>Jackson never kept any of it other than the first work she'd drawn for him—that was stuck to his mini fridge with a sticker he'd pulled off an apple as a way to remind him that even though he felt his life was rather meaningless most days, his existence had made at least one person's day better. Even if it was just a child, it was enough to remind him to get up, to keep going and to push harder.</p><p>Jackson was pretty sure the girl's name was Jaemi. He'd never been formally introduced or anything but her father had used her name a few times in the brief passing conversations they had in the almost three months Jackson had been busking at the station. He had no idea what the little girl's father's name was. </p><p>It was a rather busy day at the station when all that changed. It was almost Samil Jeon, a holiday celebrating a historical step toward Korean independence, and everyone was always in a good mood around the holidays, making Jackson in a good mood as the good spirits usually meant higher income for him. </p><p>Jackson was in a good mood anyway, having just received his first paycheck from an additional job he'd been able to pick up two days a week. He now worked for the city of Korea cleaning up parks and public spaces. Did he love picking up trash and emptying garbage bins? No. Did he love that he'd not only been able to pay his rent on time for three consecutive months but that he'd also finally saved enough to replace his hot plate to one that actually boiled water in under thirty minutes? Yes, yes he did.</p><p>It was <em>far</em> from the new beginning crap Mark had tried to sell Jackson at his New Year's party but maybe, just <em>maybe</em>, it was a sign that the universe Bambam liked to talk about was finally sending some good things Jackson's way.</p><p>He was straightening after sending a bow of thanks to an older couple who had left Jackson a generous tip when he just happened to spot the little girl through the crowd loading onto the train. He watched as something fell out of her pocket, some small toy that Jackson couldn’t identify from where he was standing and which was quickly trampled over by the people boarding the train behind her.</p><p>Neither the girl nor her father noticed as they boarded the train and Jackson debated calling out something using his mic but then the door chime started, signalling the doors were about to close and Jackson kept his mouth shut. Maybe if it was small enough he'd pick up whatever it was and hang onto it until the next time they came over to say hello.</p><p>But then the girl saw it. And she was apparently too young to realize what she was doing because she broke free from her father and slipped through the half-closed doors and back onto the platform. </p><p>She didn’t see her father realize a half-second too late. Jackson heard his shout of ‘<em>Jaemi</em>’ as the doors shut completely, his fingers desperately trying to pry open the already closed door with a look of sheer terror on his face before the train began to move.</p><p>People on the platform noticed what happened and had already started swarming the girl before she even stood up, telling her not to be scared or to come with them to go find a security guard. </p><p>She looked around at them in confusion and Jackson’s heart broke as panic and fear crept across her face as she stood and turned away from all the strangers surrounding her, trying to find her father. “Daddy!” She screamed when she saw the train moving, a woman with quick reflexes grabbing her arm as she tried to run towards the now-moving train. </p><p>Jackson dropped his guitar into its case and zipped it up, praying the few coins that were in there didn’t scratch his guitar as he threw his stuff into his backpack in record time before heading towards the girl who was now crying hysterically, trying to fight against the woman who was holding her back from the tracks. </p><p>He made his way carefully through the crowd, ensuring he didn’t smack anyone with his guitar or his backpack, before dropping to his knees next to the little girl. “Shh, Jaemi, it’s okay,” he said as soothingly as he could, praying he was using the right name.</p><p>She turned to look at him to Jackson’s relief, crying louder and moving closer to him. "Daddy!" She wailed. </p><p>“Jaemi, don’t cry,” Jackson said, reaching out a tentative hand and running her back. “He's on his way back to get you right now. I promise."</p><p>She just looked at him, tears flowing freely down her face and shattering Jackson’s heart as they dropped off her chin. “I want Daddy,” she whimpered.</p><p>“I know,” Jackson said calmly. “I promise you he'll be here as soon as he can. We just have to be patient. Can you do that? Can you be a big girl and wait until daddy comes?”</p><p>“Is everything okay?” A new voice said, Jackson looking up as a man wearing a bright yellow safety vest approached the two of them. Jackson knew this guard. Jinseok frequently came over to talk to Jackson when he noticed Jackson was taking a break. He never said anything when Jackson stayed a little later than his permit technically allowed him to. He even brought Jackson coffee or hot chocolate from time to time. He was kind. </p><p>Jackson felt a little hand grasp his fingers as she shied away from the newest stranger as another woman in the crowd explained what had happened to Jinseok.</p><p>The woman that had been holding Jaemi finally released her shoulders, seemingly reassured that Jackson would keep Jaemi safe until her father could come back. She sent them both a smile before moving toward the exit. The crowd around them was thinning, most of the passers-by now assuming that Jackson and Jinseok had the situation under control as they drifted away to line up for the next train or made their way towards the exits.</p><p>Jackson squeezed Jaemi’s fingers a little. “It’s okay. He’s like a police officer. Do you know what a police officer is?”</p><p>Jaemi nodded but still looked shy as Jinseok crouched down in front of her. “Hi there. I’m sure your dad is on his way back right now. How about we go wait in my office until he gets here; that way he'll know exactly where you are and that you're safe.”</p><p>Jaemi tightened her grip on Jackson’s fingers and shuffled a little bit closer to him, away from the security officer. Jackson didn’t really blame her. As kind-hearted as Jinseok was, he was quite tall, very muscular and currently had a beard covering the lower half of his face. He must have been remarkably intimidating for someone as small as Jaemi.</p><p>“He’ll keep you safe until your dad comes back,” Jackson said reassuringly.</p><p>Jaemi looked up at him with big watery eyes and shook her head, moving even closer so that she was almost pressed against Jackson's side. She didn't know Jackson, not really, but it seemed like the fact that he was at least someone she recognized was something of a comfort to her. </p><p>"Do you want me to come with you?" Jackson asked.</p><p>She nodded shyly, still sniffling a little. </p><p>Jackson smiled, pulling his hand from hers to rub her back soothingly once more. “Of course I will. Let’s go, if we don't hurry your daddy might beat us there. My name is Jackson by the way."</p><p>"I'm Jaemi," she replied softly. </p><p>She took his hand again as the two of them followed Jinseok down the platform to the security station in the middle of the station, which was little more than a small room with a couple of chairs in it. </p><p>They were just entering the room when the radio on Jinseok's shoulder crackled, a voice inquiring about a girl in a yellow snowsuit.</p><p>Jinseok replied that she was safe and with him and that they would be waiting in the security booth when her father was able to take a return train. It might take a bit longer than usual since the next stop after this one was a transfer stop and trains tended to linger longer before moving on. </p><p>Jackson set down his things before taking a seat, patting the chair beside him for Jaemi to sit on. She obliged, climbing up onto the chair and looking around the office with wide eyes. At least she wasn't crying anymore. She still had snot on her face though. </p><p>He grabbed a tissue from a nearby table and handed it to her, trying not to wince when she mostly just smeared it around instead of actually cleaning herself up. Jackson wasn't doing it for her, so it would have to do. </p><p>"So who is this sneaky little thing that caused all this trouble?" He asked, nodding to the stuffed toy still clutched in her hand, the one she'd run after and which caused all this mess. </p><p>Now that he was closer he could see what it was; a panda about the size of Jackson's hand, a strawberry purse strapped over her shoulder and a bow pinned in front of her ear. It looked like a character from a show that Jackson was too old and out of touch to recognize.  </p><p>"It's Tulip," Jaemi said sadly, carefully rubbing at a dirt smudge on the toy's white belly. "My friend let me borrow her and would be really mad if I lost her." She looked up at Jackson, her eyes filling once more. "Now <em>Daddy's</em> going to be mad. Really, <em>really</em> mad."</p><p>Jackson wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I promise you daddy won't be mad at you," he said, only wondering after the fact if that was a promise he should have made. "He will just be very, <em>very</em> happy that you're safe."</p><p>"I'm not supposed to run off the train," she said, her eyes on the stuffed panda. "It's not safe Daddy said."</p><p>Jackson nodded. "And Daddy is absolutely right. You could have been hurt. Or your dad could have been hurt trying to go after you."</p><p>She started crying again and Jackson looked at Jinseok in desperation, hoping the other man would have some idea what to do with the little girl. He was met with a shrug and an apologetic look. </p><p>Jackson sighed and his gaze fell on his guitar. Maybe he could play some music to distract her. "Jaemi, how about I play you some songs. I'll even make you a bet that your daddy will be back in five songs."</p><p>She looked at him. "And if h-he's not-t?"</p><p>Jackson was mildly surprised that this child seemed to have a good comprehension of what a bet was, but he moved on. "Then I'll buy you an ice cream." Jackson said desperately. </p><p>She wiped her face with the panda. Jackson hoped her father washed it before it was returned to its owner. "Ice cream?"</p><p>Jackson nodded. Was he bribing a child with ice cream to get her to stop crying? Yes. Did he feel guilty about it? Absolutely not. Even if her dad wasn't back in five songs, it'd be worth the five bucks to not have to helplessly watch her cry in front of him for however long it took her dad to make it back here. </p><p>"I like ice cream," she said quietly. </p><p>Jackson passed her another tissue and she did markedly better at cleaning herself up with it than she did with the last one. </p><p>"Can you play Daddy's songs?" She asked, making Jackson feel uneasy because he just <em>knew</em> she'd start crying again if he said no or if he didn't know whatever songs she considered to be 'Daddy's Songs.'</p><p>"Do you know the names of the songs?" He asked hesitantly, surprised when she replied with the title track off of a popular girl group album that came out last summer. Again, the man Jackson had seen twice a week for a few months now didn't seem to fit the sugary pop song his daughter had labeled one of her father's songs. </p><p>Still, whatever Jaemi's dad liked to listen to in his spare time was none of Jackson's business; Jackson was simply grateful it was a song that he knew, having learned it for all the summer festivals and tourists the previous summer. </p><p>He pulled out his guitar, wincing as the coins he'd already forgotten about rolled around the office. Jaemi leapt to her feet to pick them up, setting the panda on her chair as she dropped to her hands and knees to collect the money from under the few pieces of furniture in the office. </p><p>She turned back to him with her little hands filled and a big smile on her face. "Can I drop it in your box, like everyone else does?"</p><p>Jackson smiled, undeniably charmed by this tiny human. "Of course you can," he answered, turning his case so it was laying flat on the ground. </p><p>Jaemi carefully leaned over and separated her hands, making the coins fall like rain into the felted interior. She giggled as the last coin fell. "That was fun. I can see why grown ups like it so much."</p><p>Jackson laughed, entirely unsure how to respond to that.</p><p>"Do you want me to clean that out for you?" Jinseok asked, nodded to the case. "Considering your doing my job and all, it's the least I can do while you entertain our new friend."</p><p>Jackson sent him a smile. "That would be great, thanks." He reached into his backpack and pulled out a fabric pencil case he used to store the money he made while busking until he could deposit it after his shift. He never took it home. He only needed to be mugged once to learn that lesson. It was bad enough having the shit beaten out of him, loosing an entire day's income had been infinitely more painful. </p><p>Jinseok picked up the bag and the guitar case as Jaemi settled back in her chair, the panda tucked between her arms as she sat sideways on the chair so she could see Jackson better. </p><p>She sang along in some places and even knew some of the choreography, her snowsuit and the fact she was sitting certainly did nothing to dampen her enthusiasm. She had her next requests ready and lined up the second Jackson finished one song, and none of them were kids songs, which surprised Jackson. He'd expected to be asked for kids music or something from Frozen or something but this girl was up to date on a lot of popular music, which certainly made Jackson's current job a lot easier since he knew every one of the songs she was asking for.  </p><p>“Jaemi!” A voice shouted, making Jackson jump but which prompted Jaemi to slide out of her chair and sprint as fast as she could towards the man in the doorway, who collapsed to his knees and gathered his daughter as close as humanly possible. Jackson was pretty sure he saw tears in the man’s eyes when he opened them a few seconds later, pulling back and looking over his daughter. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt? Oh my god Jaemi you can’t <em>do</em> something like that, you <em>know</em> better,” he said, pulling her close again, this time standing up with her in his arms.</p><p>He looked around the small office, holding his daughter carefully against his chest before bowing low to Jinseok and Jackson, ignoring Jaemi's giggles at the movement. “I'm so sorry for all the trouble she's caused for you," he said before standing up. "We'll be sure to be more careful in the future."</p><p>Jackson gathered his things as Jinseok assured the man that his daughter was no trouble at all and that kids did stuff like that all the time. He pointed a thumb toward Jackson. "He did most of the work anyway. Calmed her down, got her to agree to come with me and entertained her the whole time."</p><p>The man turned his gaze to Jackson. "You're the busker, right?"</p><p>Jackson nodded. "I am," he said, extending his hand toward the mam. "I'm Jackson."</p><p>"Jaebeom," The man smiled, shifting Jaemi so he could briefly shake Jackson's hand. "Thank you for helping my daughter."</p><p>Jackson had seen Jaebeom smile at him in passing, but he'd never <em>really</em> had it directly aimed at him before so Jackson hadn't realized that it made his already beautiful face even more stunning. Softer, more human and less ethereal. </p><p>"I'm just glad that I could help," Jackson said, with a smile before the pair ducked out of the room with one more now of thanks.</p><p>Jackson collected his money and his case from Jinseok and put everything away carefully, saying his goodbyes to the guard for the night.</p><p>He was surprised to see Jaemi and her father lingering outside of the security office when he stepped out a few minutes later. </p><p>"Can I pay you for your trouble?" The man asked. "I'm sure you lost money because you were taking care of her instead of performing."</p><p>Jackson was surprised by the offer. He had definitely lost money. The evening rush was the most profitable for him and even though he'd only lost maybe half an hour, it had already been approaching the tail end of rush hour when Jaemi had run off the train. The rush had mostly thinned out a little and anything he'd make would from now till he called it a night would be minimal.</p><p>But still, he didn't feel right taking money for doing the right thing. "That's very kind of you to offer, but I'm just glad that she's safe."</p><p>The man looked relieved all over again, as he held Jaemi close. Jackson suspected he wasn't planning on letting her go anytime soon. "Please, let me thank you for ensuring her safety. If you won't let me pay you, how about I buy you dinner?"</p><p>Jackson nearly tripled over his own feet.<em> "What?"</em></p><p>The man gestured up the stairs. "There is a great tteokkbokki place just outside the station. They have great insulated containers too so it'll be warm until whenever you want to take a break to eat it."</p><p>Oh. Literally <em>buying Jackson dinner</em>. Not taking Jackson <em>out</em> for dinner. As Jackson replayed the words in his head the man didn't even sound remotely flirtatious so why Jackson thought he was asking for a date was beyond him. Clearly Jackson needed to get out more. Or sleep more. Or some combination of sleep and getting out more. </p><p>He tended not to date in the last few years. It was frankly just too expensive and, yes, he knew money had nothing to do with chemistry or attraction but Jackson liked spoiling the people he cared about and had felt so guilty in his last real relationship because he couldn't afford to treat them the way he wanted to. He tended to stick to one night stands these days. Clearly it was time for him to find another. </p><p>"Jackson said he'll buy me ice cream," Jaemi announced. </p><p>Jackson blinked as Jaebeom turned to look at his daughter in surprise. "He did?"</p><p>Jaemi nodded. "He said that if he played five songs and you weren't back then he'd buy me ice cream."</p><p>Jackson was pretty sure he has only just started the fourth song, but he supposed he couldn't rely on a child of her age to know how to count properly. </p><p>"Jaemi, that's not how we say thank you to someone," Jaebeom reprimanded softly. "We need to give him something."</p><p>"Then let's give <em>him</em> ice cream," Jaemi suggested.</p><p>Jackson chuckled at the exasperated look on Jaebeom's face. Clearly the girl had a one track mind when it came to food. Jackson could relate. </p><p>"We can't give him ice cream; it'll melt before he gets to eat it." Jaebeom tried to reason. </p><p>Jackson decided to be of no help. If the man really wanted to thank him, Jackson was not going to turn down ice cream. It was a luxury he rarely let himself have and, honestly, he considered it to be a fitting reward. He was also staring to get insatiably curious about the man who looked so chic and sexy but who liked peppy girl group music and seemed to adore his daughter more than anything. </p><p>And he also suspected both father and daughter could use something comforting after the stress they'd both gone through tonight."I'm going to call it a night actually. The station gets pretty quiet after seven." He said. </p><p>Jaebeom looked at him. </p><p>"I'm not saying you have to pay me back, I'm still genuinely content with just knowing she's okay. But if you were serious then I'll have you know I will never turn down ice cream."</p><p>Jaemi beamed at him and looked at her father expectantly. </p><p>Jaebeom sighed in resignation. "Jackson-ssi, would you like to join Jaemi and I for some ice cream?"</p><p>Jackson smiled at him too. "I would love to."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry.<br/>I truly did not intend to make you wait two and a half months for this and I told myself I wasn't going to apologize because I needed the time for myself and I don't exactly regret this taking so long, but I AM sorry for it. With my job being virtual I basically work two jobs in one now and I work like 10-12 hour days everyday, only get usually one day off a weekend and am just constantly exhausted and I hate it because I miss writing (and you guys) so much. I think this is the longest I've ever gone without posting something since I starting writing fanfics and I hate it. I'm feeling a bit more stable with my job now so I'm hoping to be able to write at least a day or two every week. I know you said you don't mind waiting but I find it so much harder to write with big gaps like this (and I always hated it as a reader too). </p><p>Thank you for your patience and I truly hope that every one of you has been well in my extended absence ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They ended up at an ice cream shop about a block away from the subway station. Jackson had never been there, didn't even know it existed, but Jaemi explained that they went there on the way home from school on special days. </p><p>Jaebeom didn't put her down once the whole way, not even when she complained about wanting to walk. Jackson wondered how long it would take Jaebeom to really feel at ease with not having her in his arms again after tonight. </p><p>Jackson didn't think she'd run off again. He'd seen the fear and panic in her eyes when she realized her father was missing and the regret and worry in her tears as they waited. She had always known better but Jackson suspected that this experience had really taught her <em>why</em> she wasn't supposed to run off the train. Maybe it was just wishful thinking from someone who did not have a child, but he didn't think Jaebeom had anything he needed to worry about with her running away from him in public. At least not till she got old enough to be mortally embarrassed by her father's presence. But by then she would probably be old enough to fend for herself for a while. </p><p>The ice cream place was cute: pale blue walls with soft cotton candy clouds scattered around. It was pretty empty but considering it was cold and most people were heading home to enjoy their long weekend Jackson wasn't too surprised. </p><p>Jackson set his equipment down in one of the booths before joining Jaebeom and Jaemi at the counter, peering through the clear plexiglass pieces covering the tubs of ice cream, his eyes going to the neatly printed name cards telling him what flavours were within. </p><p>"What flavour of ice cream do you like Jackson-ssi?" Jaemi asked. </p><p>"Chocolate mint." He said, pointing to the label that was decorated with little chunks of chocolate and mint leaves. </p><p>"That's Daddy's favourite too!" She said excitedly, pointing at her father, like Jackson would have no idea who she meant otherwise. </p><p>Jackson smiled at him. "Well he obviously has great taste in ice cream."</p><p>Jaebeom just chucked and asked if Jackson wanted a cup or a cone. </p><p>Jackson chose a cup since cones cost extra and after waiting for Jaemi to make a decision between chocolate or strawberry—it was a close call, but strawberry won—and a brief argument where Jackson tried to convince Jaebeom that he really didn't need to pay for Jackson's ice cream—an argument which Jackson lost—they were sitting down in the both to enjoy their frozen treats.</p><p>"Spoon cheers!" Jaemi said, holding out her plastic spoon to them as soon as her father removed her jacket so she could eat more comfortably. </p><p>Jackson looked at the spoon in bewilderment as Jaebeom reached out and tapped the rounded back of his spoon against hers. "Spoon cheers," he repeated fondly. </p><p>"I've never heard of spoon cheers," Jackson said honestly. </p><p>"Jinyoung-oppa taught me," Jaemi replied, still holding out her spoon and looking at Jackson expectantly. </p><p>"And now it's a tradition," Jaebeom replied very seriously. "And must be completed before we consume any ice cream, apple sauce, pudding, macaroni, yogurt or cereal."</p><p>"So anything you eat with a spoon," Jackson said with a grin as he reached out and gently tapped his spoon against Jaemi's. </p><p>"I pray every day that chopstick cheers do not catch on," Jaebeom said. "Or fork cheers."</p><p>Jaemi cackled, like <em>fork</em> cheers was the most absurd thing she had ever heard in her life, as she spooned ice cream into her mouth, doing a little happy dance after the mouthful. </p><p>Jackson smiled at her. This child was remarkably precious. </p><p>"Are you sure this is enough?" Jaebeom asked, eyeing the five dollar cup of ice cream in front of Jackson.</p><p>"That depends," Jackson replied. </p><p>Jaebeom tilted his head a little. "On what?"</p><p>"On whether or not the ice cream is good," he said with a smile as she scooped up some ice cream with his spoon.</p><p>"It's the best," Jaemi assured him as Jaebeom chuckled quietly. </p><p>Jackson smiled at her as he put the ice cream in his mouth. Maybe it was because he hadn't had ice cream in ages but the combination of the sweet ice cream, the sharpness of the peppermint and the bitterness of the chocolate chips tasted far better than Jackson remembered. </p><p>"You're right," he confirmed. "It's the best."</p><p>"I told you!" Jaemi said smugly before diving in to her own cup once more. </p><p>"Well then if you're sure, please enjoy the ice cream and accept my thanks." Jaebeom said seriously, reaching out and brushing back some of Jaemi's hair before it got covered in ice cream. "It means a lot to me that you'd give up your time and income to take care of her."</p><p>"I had to. She's my favourite artist," Jackson said.</p><p>"Well, I hate to break it to you, but you're her second favourite street performer," Jaebeom said with a sly smile.</p><p>Jackson gaped in mock horror at Jaemi. "<em>Second</em> favourite?"</p><p>"There is a lady who comes to my school sometimes and she can do magic," Jaemi said. "<em>Real</em> magic. Not the fake stuff daddy tries to trick me with sometimes."</p><p>Jaebeom laughed.</p><p>So did Jackson. "Well, I <em>can't</em> do real magic so I guess I'll take my second place win happily." He looked at Jaebeom. "Honestly, it was no trouble. She's a sweet kid."</p><p>Jaebeom smiled warmly. It was a good look on him. "Thank you. Not everyone thinks so," he added with an eye roll. "She's my child and I love her beyond words, but she has a very…strong personality we'll say."</p><p>"What does that mean?" Jaemi asked. </p><p>"It means you're just full of interesting ideas," Jackson answered, making Jaebeom snort.</p><p>Jaemi nodded sagely, like she agreed with the assessment of her personality. "I am good at thinking of ideas."</p><p>Jaebeom looked like he had a lot he wanted to say on that topic, but he just sighed a very parental sigh and turned back to Jackson. "So have you been busking long?"</p><p>Jackson shrugged, taking another bite of ice cream. He didn't really want to get into his work history. "A few years now."</p><p>"Do you busk anywhere else?"</p><p>"Yeah," Jackson replied. It wasn't good for business to only go to the same place all the time. It worked for tourist spots or fairs and festivals—places that required a permit—but everywhere was frequented by the same people daily as they went about their lives. They weren't likely to give Jackson money every day so he tied to only go the same spot once a week, twice if he went at a different time, like he did with the subway station—one morning and one evening. </p><p>"I play up in Daehango often and sometimes I'll even head over to Sinchon," he continued. </p><p>Jaebeom's eyes widened a little bit. "No way! An old friend of mine used to go to university in Sinchon. Have you ever gotten dinner from—"</p><p>"Daddy it's your song!" Jaemi interrupted, reaching out and grabbing the sleeve of Jaebeom's jacket, entirely uncaring of the fact her father had been mid-sentence. "Jackson-ssi sang it for me while we were waiting for you."</p><p>Both men paused as they listened to the music playing through the overhead speakers.  </p><p>"Oh," Jaebeom said after a few seconds and he recognized the song. </p><p>"It's a good song," Jackson commented. It was true, he did like the song. He didn't know that much about the group though; they were relatively new and a few of the girls were still teenagers and it just felt creepy to Jackson to be overly invested in the group, but the song was upbeat and had a cool melody that made it pretty fun to perform. </p><p>"Daddy wrote it," Jaemi said, looking immensely proud of her father.</p><p>Jackson's gaze flew to Jaebeom for confirmation, eyebrows raised. The girl group was maybe just shy of two years old now so they were barely more than rookies, but they were from one of the bigger idol companies if Jackson was remembering correctly. </p><p>"I <em>produced</em> it," Jaebeom corrected gently, reaching out and using a napkin to wipe some ice cream from Jaemi's fingers. </p><p>"Doesn't that mean you made it?" Jaemi asked, not looking like she particularly cared about the difference between writing and producing. </p><p>Jaebeom just sighed. "Sure."</p><p>Jackson whistled. "You have a <em>very</em> cool job, my friend."</p><p>Jaebeom nodded. "I'm very lucky," he agreed. </p><p>"I actually came to Korea to be an idol," Jackson said, following up the words with a self-deprecating laugh. "Clearly that didn't work out."</p><p>"Their loss," Jaebeom replied. "The timbre of your voice is so unique and really would have made you stand out in the industry. As a producer, I would love to work with someone who has a voice as versatile as yours is."</p><p>A part of Jackson, a larger part than he had thought after all this time, sighed <em>thank you</em>. That was what he'd always believed. He knew he was far from the best singer or dancer out there but he'd always thought that his voice was unique, especially in the world of Kpop. He'd always thought that it would have made him stand out. </p><p>The company that Jaebeom worked for, assuming he still worked for the same one he did when he produced that song, wasn't the biggest company, but they were certainly well known and their idol groups tended to do reasonably well in the extraordinarily competitive industry. To hear a producer from one of those companies tell Jackson that he would have loved to work with him kind of made this whole chapter of his life feel…like less of a mistake. It didn't change anything; Jackson was still broke, still had no job or anything in his life that he could brag about to his friends or family, but it made Jackson feel like he wasn't a fool for believing for so long that he had something that made him unique. </p><p>"You said you came to Korea, which obviously means you aren't from here," Jaebeom continued like he hadn't just validated all of teenage Jackson's dreams. "Do you mind me asking where you're from?"</p><p>"Hong Kong," Jackson replied. "I've been here for about eight years now." He still couldn't believe he'd been here almost a decade and yet his life was remarkably similar to the way it was when he'd arrived. The ice cream bittered on his tongue a little. </p><p>He told himself that he'd stop thinking like that. That he was going to give Mark and Bambam's way a chance. That he'd give it two more years until he called it quits. A clean decade in Korea. Well, more like a year and nine months left now. </p><p>God, that didn't seem like much time at all. What was the point? What on Earth could possibly change in the next year and nine months that didn't happen in the first eight <em>years</em>? </p><p>"You must miss it," Jaebeom said, pulling Jackson out from spiralling even deeper. </p><p>"<em>So</em> much," Jackson agreed vehemently. </p><p>"Where's Hong Kong?" Jaemi asked, spooning more ice cream into her mouth. She was somehow already halfway done. </p><p>"It's about a three hour plane ride from here," Jackson answered. </p><p>Jaemi looked at her father. </p><p>"That's like watching Frozen twice."</p><p>Jaemi nodded, like Frozen was a <em>far</em> more acceptable unit of time than <em>hours</em>. </p><p>Jackson looked back at Jaebeom in amusement. "Out of curiosity, how often do you use Frozen as a unit of time?"</p><p>"Far too often," was Jaebeom's response, pulling another laugh from Jackson. Jaebeom smiled at him in response and Jackson felt a slight flutter in his abdomen.</p><p><em>No</em>. He told himself firmly. Jaebeom was a father for God's sake. He was not available to a one night stand. Although a quick glance at Jaebeom's hand as he fed himself more ice cream informed Jackson that he wasn't wearing a ring. Not that that really meant anything. He could easily be married and just not wearing one. Or he and his girlfriend weren't married yet. </p><p>Jesus, he had a <em>kid</em>. What was Jackson thinking. He clearly was not interested in men regardless of whether or not he was single. He had no time or energy to spare pining after unavailable straight men. No matter how beautiful they were or how charming their child was. </p><p>"Daddy can we go to Hong Kong?" Jaemi asked. </p><p>"Maybe one day," Jaebeom replied easily. Jackson could hear a placating answer when he heard one. He glanced back at Jackson. "What do you miss the most?" Jaebeom asked, turning back to Jackson.</p><p>"My mom," Jackson replied immediately, feeling that bittersweet tug on his heart he always got when he thought of his mother. He missed his dad too, of <em>course</em> he did, but his dad was much more of a tough love kind of man and while it helped make Jackson the person he was today, on those really tough days all he wanted was a hug from his mom. </p><p>"I don't have a mom," Jaemi said. "Are mom's fun?"</p><p>Jackson blinked as Jaebeom's expression went utterly blank. He wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation, but decided to answer Jaemi's question anyway, careful to choose his words. </p><p>"I don't know about <em>all</em> mom's, but my mom is. She used to cook for me and take me to fun places and play with me all the time."</p><p>"My daddy does all those things!" Jaemi said, looking up at her father like he was her hero. </p><p>Jaebeom managed a small but genuine smile in return, leaning over to kiss her forehead. </p><p>"Then it sounds like you have a pretty fun dad," Jackson said, smiling as he looked at the pair seated opposite him. </p><p>He had so many questions now, but knew that none of the answers were his business so he said nothing. Jaebeom looked completely caught off guard by Jaemi's words which made Jackson wonder if it had been a bad break-up. It didn't seem like whoever had given birth to Jaemi had been in the picture for much of her life if Jaemi had no recollection of her. </p><p>Oh god, what if she died? How horrific would that be? No wonder Jaebeom had looked like that. </p><p>Slow down, he told himself. He literally knew nothing about these two and imaging a scenario where Jaebeom had a dead wife wasn't fair or an effective use of his time. If Jaebeom wanted him to know, he'd say something. And it wasn't Jackson business either way. </p><p>"My dad is the best in the whole entire world," Jaemi said, not a shred of doubt in her expression or tone. </p><p>Jackson smiled at her certainty. He had no doubt that Jaebeom was an amazing father. He'd seen it in small ways all the time when they passed by him at the station. He'd seen it a hundred different ways tonight. If Jaemi did not have a mother it didn't matter. She didn't didn't seem to be lacking in any way. She was lucky to have Jaebeom.</p><p>When he looked over at Jaebeom again and saw him lean down to whisper something in Jaemi's ear, saw the way his whole face lit up as she laughed and how he looked so at peace and happy watching his daughter, Jackson realized that Jaebeom was pretty lucky to have her too. </p><p>• • •</p><p>They moved onto less heavy topics for the rest of their ice cream, he and Jaebeom bonded over food trucks around the universities in Sinchon, Jaebeom asked Jackson about the equipment he used and Jaemi told stories about the things she does at school. </p><p>Soon all their cups were empty, Jaemi having finished long before Jackson and Jaebeom, and Jaemi was bundled back in her jacket as the three of them were leaving the shop.</p><p>"Thank you for the ice cream," Jackson said as they began walking back to the subway station. </p><p>"It truly was the absolute least I could do to thank you for keeping Jaemi company," Jaebeom said. He wasn't carrying her now but he had a good grip on her hand and he kept her in between himself and Jackson as they walked. </p><p>"Yeah!" Jaemi said. "I had lots of fun."</p><p>Jackson chuckled. It had only been like fifteen minutes, twenty max, but Jackson was glad that she'd had fun. </p><p>"Feel free to ask for a song you want to hear whenever you see me," Jackson told her. "I don't usually take requests, but I can make an exception for my friends."</p><p>Jaemi gave him a beaming smile. </p><p>Jackson had enjoyed the evening. Not just because the ice cream was good, but because the Im family were delightful. They clearly thought the world of each other and in a way it made Jackson miss his own family. </p><p>Jaemi was bursting with personality and was not shy at all about sharing her thoughts. Jaebeom was a bit sarcastic and serious but he melted like butter when his daughter looked at him.</p><p>It had been ages since Jackson had had a real conversation with someone who wasn't Mark or one of the Bhuwakuls and he was pleasantly surprised by how much he had enjoyed it.</p><p>He wasn't sure it counted as a 'real conversation' when one of the participants was five—something Jaemi had proudly boasted after Jackson asked her how old she was—but Jackson would take it. </p><p>"Daddy," Jaemi said, a soft dreamy kind of tone in her voice as they waited at a red light. "Look."</p><p>A bus passed by with an ad covering the side of it. The ad was for a newly opened themed cafe and the picture was of princesses in fancy dresses in tiaras. </p><p>Jaebeom sighed. "I know, honey." He looked at Jackson. "One of her friends from school went to the cafe when it opened a few weeks ago and it has become Jaemi's new life goal to eat there but we can only go on weekends and they're fully booked on weekends till the end of June already."</p><p>"I have a friend who works there," Jackson said without thinking. "I wonder if I could ask her to squeeze you in if there are any cancellations."</p><p>One of Jackson's friends from his trainees days was one of the waitresses/ actresses that worked there. She'd wanted to go into acting when she auditioned for the company but the recruitment department thought she'd be better as an idol and sent her for vocal and dance training instead. Like Jackson, she'd never been given the chance to debut before her contract expired. She was actually doing well on her own though, a few commercials and she had a pretty good side business of appearing at parties dressed like various princesses. The vocal training served her well and she could perform too which made her stand out among some of the others in the industry. </p><p>Jaebeom blinked at him. "Really?"</p><p>Jackson shrugged. "Yeah, sure. I mean, I have no idea if that's how they operate so I don't know if it's even possible, but I don't mind making a phone call." It'd be good to talk to Nayeon again anyways. They hadn't spoken in far too long. "If you want to give me your number I can text you her answ…" </p><p>He trailed off when he realized he'd just asked for Jaebeom's phone number. "I'll let you know when I see you at the station," he corrected. </p><p>But Jaebeom had already pulled out his phone. "A text is easier; Jaemi and I are both late sleepers so we're frequently late, despite my best efforts, so we don't always have time to stop by and talk to you. Plus we only see you there twice a week."</p><p>Jackson wasn't sure how he felt about Jaebeom knowing his busking schedule. He hadn't realized the man had paid him that much attention. He smiled as he took Jaebeom's unlocked phone, the new contact screen already opened. </p><p>He entered in his name and phone number before sending himself a text from Jaebeom's phone so he'd have it to save later. "I'll call her after the holiday and let you know what she says."</p><p>Jaebeom practically beamed. "That would be amazing. Thank you." His cheeks rose up as his smile threatened to take over his face.</p><p>And Jackson's heart. </p><p>Jackson felt that flutter in his stomach again as he looked at Jaebeom smiling at him. <em>Stop it</em>, he reminded himself. You keep complaining about waiting your life away. Pining after a man like Jaebeom, who was successful and had his life together in a way that Jackson could only dream of right now—nevermind the fact he probably wasn't straight—would be the biggest waste of his time yet. </p><p>They parted ways not long after that. Jaebeom and Jaemi headed towards the train station and Jackson ducked into a bank on the street just outside the station to deposit the money he'd made that evening.</p><p>Usually on nights when he deposited a number as low as the one of the screen he went home feeling worried and upset and hopeless. </p><p>Which was why it made no sense for Jackson to leave the bank humming a catchy girl group song under his breath, in a better mood than he'd been in in weeks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Merry Christmas everyone! 🎄🎁💚❤️ I hope those of you who celebrate it had a safe and enjoyable holiday, despite everything. </p><p>I actually was not planning on posting this today but I went in to do some editing (yes, I do edit my fics, I'm just TERRIBLE at it because in usually too impatient so my chapters end up full of mistakes anyways. My apologies) and somehow ended up on a roll and I finished it. I'm not complaining. </p><p>I hope you enjoy this chapter and that you all have a safe and enjoyable end to 2020. While the year definitely has not gone as planned, a lot of good has happened to me as well and that is what I'll be focussing on when the year comes to an end next week. </p><p>Have a wonderfully Happy New Year, take good care of yourselves and I'll see you next in 2021 my friends 💚💚</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He saw the little girl and her father much more often after that. Well, he saw them the same amount as he always had, but he interacted with them more. They usually didn't stop and talk in the mornings, presumably on their way to school and work, but Jaemi always made sure to wave at him through the sea of people. Jaebeom would too when he wasn't desperately trying to pull her along on one of those mornings Jackson assumed they were running late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The evening Jackson worked they stopped by as they waited for a train to pull up. Sometimes Jackson intentionally took a break so that he could talk to Jaemi and her gorgeous father, but if he was still performing Jaemi would just dance around him. Sometimes she knew bits of the official choreography and sometimes she'd just make up her own. Occasionally she'd sing along too if she'd heard the song before. Her lyrics were often <em>wildly</em> different from the ones Jackson sang, but he couldn't deny that they were infinitely more entertaining. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard back from Nayeon at the end of the month, the call coming in just as Jackson was packing up from his set up by the universities in Sinchon. Talking about the place with Jaebeom had made him miss performing up here so he'd been making the rounds around the universities the past few weeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was putting his mic stand away when his phone started ringing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jackson-oppa!' Came a cheerful voice from the other end of the line, making Jackson smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nayeon-ah, how are you?" He asked as he continued working. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"About to make your night a lot better," she replied. "We had a massive cancellation for this Saturday. A party of twenty cancelled last minute today. It was a bachelorette party and rumor has it around here that the wedding was called off too, which is a mess, but it means that we were able to get through the waiting list with room to spare so I put you in at a table for four at eleven."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Four?" Jackson asked, his hands pausing on the zipper of his backpack. "Who all is this reservation for?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The kid, her dad and you?" Nayeon asked, sounding as confused as Jackson was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Jackson said. He'd always assumed that the reservation would just be for Jaebeom and Jaemi. It hadn't actually occurred to him that he would join them. He didn't think they'd want him there, would they? Last time they ate together because they wanted to thank Jackson. But, despite the interactions in the subway, they really didn't see or speak to each other. They weren't really friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, no, Jackson probably shouldn't go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Plus there was also the issue of the overpriced food that came along with novelty cafes like the one Nayeon worked at. He <em>definitely</em> shouldn't go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just make it for two. I won't be joining them," he said, going back to putting his equipment away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause on the other line before Nayeon spoke. "No."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No?" Jackson asked, bewildered. "I'm not going to invite myself to lunch Nayeon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, because you called me up out of the absolute blue and barely finished saying hello before asking me to pull strings at a job I've only worked at for a month because of a guy you met once."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose because, yeah, he <em>had</em> done that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You <em>like</em> him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's straight," Jackson replied. "He has a child Nayeon; he's not interested in men."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's not one hundred percent interested in men," Nayeon corrected. "Have you asked him?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson snorted, imagining how insane that would have sounded if he blurted it out over ice cream with Jaebeom and his daughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Didn't think so. So here is what you are going to do; you are going to invite the nice man and his daughter to have lunch with you. Get to know him a little better. Plus, I get to see you again because I'm working Saturday. I haven't seen you in forever and I miss you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," Jackson relented. "Leave the reservation as it is."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon squealed, making Jackson smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took him another three hours before he'd made the decision to text Jaebeom to tell him the good news. Jaebeom texted him back almost immediately with confetti emojis, thank yous and an assurance that Jaemi was over the moon and that they couldn't wait for Saturday. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He met Jaebeom and Jaemi outside the cafe, smiling when he saw sparkly tulle hanging out from underneath Jaemi's jacket. "Whoa, someone dressed for the occasion," he commented with a smile as he jogged up to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi immediately unzipped her coat to show off the blue and purple sparkly dress while Jaebeom just looked exhausted. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to get a jacket on her. She didn't want to cover up her dress."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson's smile grew and he crouched down to admire Jaemi. "You look like a proper princess in that dress. Should I call you Your Highness?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Jaemi giggled, beaming as she did little twirls on the sidewalk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom watched her with such a fond expression in his face. "I don't let her wear the dress out of the house too often," he leaned a little closer and lowered his voice. "Dresses like that cost a fortune and Jaemi isn't exactly careful with her wardrobe," he murmured before leaning back again. "But how could I possibly say no when we were coming here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then what are we doing standing around on the sidewalk?" Jackson asked before leaning down and offering Jaemi his arms. "My princess, would you like to accompany me inside?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doubted she knew what 'accompany' meant, but she squealed and grabbed onto his arm tightly. Jackson chuckled and Jaebeom stepped around him to open the door so the two of them could walk inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi's mouth dropped open and her fingers tightened on Jackson's jacket as she looked around the space. Jackson smiled at the awe and wonder on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The creator of this cafe had definitely spared no expense when making it. The walls were completely covered in massive paintings, one side of the space was a forest with beautiful blooming flowers, faeries and a unicorn peeking out from around one of the trees. The other half was of a castle, gleaming white bricks and vibrant rose gardens surrounding it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson had kind of assumed that the place would be full of kids, but there were only two or three tables that had children seated at them, one of them dressed up in a dress like Jaemi's. Most of the people here seemed to be couples on dates or groups of women out for lunch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jackson-oppa!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson turned at the sound of his name, his expression softening when he saw the woman approaching him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Nayeon-ah," Jackson said, stepping away from Jaemi to wrap her in a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have to say, I didn't think this would be the place where I finally got to see you again," she said, squeezing him right before stepping back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know, I'm sorry," Jackson said. "You look amazing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon smiled and did a little twirl, the skirt of her princess dress flaring out a little bit. He knew every employee got their own dress as their uniform, but he thought it'd be a cheap thing, like a Halloween costume. The dress was a somewhat decent quality and was actually pretty flattering. A silver tiara was nestled in her hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her gaze shifted to Jaemi and she crouched down. "And what is your name Princess?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jaemi," Jaemi replied, stepping back against her father in either shyness or awe, Jackson couldn't tell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Welcome Princess Jaemi, I'm Princess Nayeon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're so pretty," Jaemi said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon's expression absolutely melted. "Thank you, but I'm not even close to being as pretty as you are."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi's smile could have lit up all of Seoul. Jaebeom's too, Jackson noted as he looked up to see Jaebeom's reaction to Jaemi's happiness with an equally bright smile of his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let me show you where you'll be sitting," Nayeon said, getting to her feet and leading them to a table against the garden wall. Jaemi and her adorable princess dress got a lot of smiles from the people they walked past but she was too busy gawking at the decor to notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here are your menus," she said, handing a simple black leather-bound menu to Jackson and Jaebeom and a crown shaped kid's menu to Jaemi. "Can I get you some drinks while you're waiting?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ordered some waters and then Nayeon was gone and the three of them were back to gawking around the restaurant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This place is amazing," Jaebeom said. "I kind of thought it'd be cheesy, but it's actually really nice."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love it here," Jaemi said, using her fingertip to trace one of the roses on the wall behind her. The second Nayeon had walked away she'd climbed up on her knees and spun around to look at the wall some more. "Daddy can we come back with Aera and Somin?" She asked, looking over her shoulder at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom chucked. "Honey, I don't think so. Jackson-ssi was nice enough to invite us here today but I think it might be a long time before we can come here with your friends."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just Jackson is fine," Jackson said, the formality was making him itch a little bit. His closest friends in Korea weren't Korean and didn't use honorifics with him and, while he didn't really mind hyung or oppa all that much since he'd gotten used to those from his trainee days, being called Jackson-ssi just felt weird to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How old are you Jackson?" Jaebeom asked as he opened his menu. His gaze went to Jackson a moment later. "If you don't mind my asking."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Twenty five," Jackson answered. "And Jaemi already told me your age."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom looked between the two of them curiously. Jaemi turning to look at Jackson at the sound of her name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>"Old,"</em> Jackson said, recalling the time Jaemi asked him to sing Jaebeom happy birthday. "Right Princess Jaemi?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right," she said with a goofy smile, clearly able to recognize they were teasing her dad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom just rolled his eyes. "Yes, okay fine. I'm an old man." He relented as Jaemi laughed and sat back in her seat, Jaebeom opening her menu for her. He looked at Jackson afterwards. "I'm twenty nine by the way, for the official record."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Twenty nine with a five year old. Jackson looked at the child in question, her attention now on the pictures in her menu on the table in front of her, and tried to imagine his life with a one year old, as Jaebeom would have had when he was Jackson's age. It was impossible. He could barely get himself through most days, he had no idea how Jaebeom had done it with a baby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Jaebeom could have had his wife or his partner helping. Jackson still wasn't quite clear on the whole mom situation yet, how much of Jaemi's life she'd been present for, if any, but he wasn't sure it really made a difference either way. Either Jaebeom had to care for a baby all by himself or he had to care for a baby and his partner, and then had to pivot to raising his daughter alone after her loss. No matter what Jaebeom's situation had been, it must have been impossibly hard. And even after all that Jaebeom had kindness and a sense of humor, able to laugh and poke fun at himself. Jaebeom was a remarkable man, that was something Jackson was certain of even though he didn't know the man very well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daddy, what's this?" Jaemi asked, pushing her menu toward her father and pointing at one of the pictures. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson turned to his own menu which he hadn't even opened yet. He braced himself and opened the page, eyes not going to the food but the prices instead. He groaned internally. He knew this place was going to be overpriced. The massive murals on the wall should have clued him into how much. Why did a sandwich cost twenty dollars? It didn't even look that big nor was it filled with particularly expensive things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly abandoned the entree section and looked at the appetizers. It was what he usually did when he was at a restaurant. He swore under his breath. Even <em>they</em> were pricey. Would Jaebeom think it was weird if Jackson just ordered water? Probably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still… If he ordered any of these it was entirely possible he'd have to skip a meal or two in the next week. He <em>was</em> in a better place financially; there was a time where some of these prices were literally his weekly food budget, so the fact that he was even able to keep his butt in the chair and not have to worry about missing an entire week of food was progress. It was just hard to appreciate the progress when it still felt like shit to not be able to buy a single thing off the menu comfortably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Have you guys had a chance to look at those menus yet or so you need some more time?" Nayeon said, reappearing with a warm smile for Jaemi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want this one!" Jaemi said, pointing at the food she wanted from the menu. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ooh!" Nayeon said. "Princess Jaemi has excellent taste! Our omurice is delicious."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi beamed at her as Nayeon pulled a notepad out of her pocket and made a note on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And for you two?" She asked, looking at Jaebeom and Jackson. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll have the tofu stew." Jaebeom answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good choice," Nayeon said, making another note before looking at Jackson expectantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just some kimchii for me," Jackson said. "I'm not all that hungry today." He hoped his smile looked believable. It has been a long time since he'd had new people he needed to lie to about his financial situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, he didn't <em>have</em> to lie. But he didn't want anyone's pity. And Jaebeom was over there raising a while other human, taking care of both of them on one salary while Jackson worried weekly about how to feed himself and avoid honelessness. Jackson knew that not everyone's path in life was the same, but it kind of made him feel like shit nonetheless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least, he assumed Jaebeom didn't have to worry about feeding them or honelessness. The fact that he willingly came here was a pretty good sign money wasn't an immediate concern of his. The dress Jaemi was wearing was another. He had looked at getting one for his niece once but quickly realized that was never going to happen when he saw how fucking expensive they were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Perfect, I'll be back as soon as I can with your food," she said, running her fingers through Jackson's hair as she left, messing it up and forcing the strands in all different directions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So how did you and Nayeon meet?" Jaebeom asked as Jackson sighed and tried to smooth it back down while Jaemi giggled at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We were trainees together actually," Jackson said. "I think I told you I came to Korea to be an idol?" Jaebeom nodded. "She wanted to go into acting but the company thought she would be more successful as an idol instead. Neither of us made it as an idol, but we trained together for two and a half years. We've remained close ever since."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I ask what company you were in?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not the one you work for," Jackson said. "We were in JJP Entertainment."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My friend Jinyoung and I auditioned for that one too when we were teenagers!" Jaebeom said with a grin "We did not get in though, so good for you two."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think I've heard about this Jinyoung fellow before," Jackson said. "Spoon cheers?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom laughed and nodded. "Yeah, that's him. He's like a brother to me. We've been close since we were in high school. He's a busy man but he always makes time for Jaemi and I. We are very lucky to have him in our lives." He looked at Jackson. "Never tell him I said that though."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson chucked even though the odds of him ever meeting this Jinyoung fellow were incredibly low. He wasn't even sure what his odds were of being able to spend time with these two were after today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their food arrived not too long after that, far quicker than Jackson would have guessed given how busy the restaurant was. Jaemi's omurice arrived with the word princess written on it with ketchup, a simple crown drawn on top of the characters. It was honestly a little impressive that they managed to cram all three characters and a crown only using ketchup on an omelette the size of Jackson palm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi absolutely lost it once Jaebeom helped her read it and made her dad take a picture of her with her food so she could show all her friends at school. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon placed a heaping pile of kimchi in front of Jackson who looked up at her quizzically, certain that this was not the normal portion size. "The chef owed me a favour so I may have had him add a few more pieces," she whispered innocently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson smiled at her. Nayeon was such a mom. Even when they were trainees she was always taking care of everyone around her, helping all the younger girls whenever she could. Jackson adored her for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She set Jaebeom's stew in front of him and then smiled at the table. "Enjoy everyone. Please let me know if you need anything else."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you Princess Nayeon," Jaemi said, smiling up at what looked like her new hero. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon looked like she so desperately wanted to pinch Jaemi's little cheeks. She settled on a curtsey instead before walking away to help another table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kimchi was good, which at least made the price a little less painful. Jaemi told them she needed to eat like a princess because she wasn't going to get rice all over her dress. She got ketchup on her face instead, but Jaebeom and Jackson seemed to silently agree that it was best not to point that out. Jaebeom offered Jackson the rice that came as a side to his soup, which Jackson politely refused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom looked at him for a moment before scooping about half the rice into his soup and then informing Jackson that anything left in the bowl was not going to fit in Jaebeom's stomach and if Jackson was not going to eat it, then it was going back to the kitchen to be thrown out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a weird feeling, being guilted into eating someone else's food. Only Mark had managed it so far, but damn if Jaebeom didn't seem to have the art perfected. Jackson would have assumed it was from convincing his child to eat, but Jaemi was chowing down quite happily without any encouragement needed, even if it was just rice and egg. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All too soon the plates were cleared and their stomachs were full, even Jackson's. Once they decided it was time to go, Jackson reluctantly turned around and waved Nayeon over once he caught her eye across the restaurant. "Nayeon-ah, everything was delicious," he said. "Could we get the bills please?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, just one bill," Jaebeom interjected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? No. You bought me ice cream last time," Jackson argued. "You don't need to buy my food again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom sent Jackson a look before turning bald to Nayeon. "Ignore him, one bill."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon smiled conspiratoraly at Jaebeom. "You got it." She sent Jackson a 'what are you doing, take the free food' look as she turned to head towards the register. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hyung, you didn't have to," Jackson said, the honorific kind of falling off his tongue before he'd even realized it. It was appropriate as Jaebeom was older than Jackson, but it was definitely much more familiar than Jackson had been addressing him so far. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please, you sacrificed your time to come and eat in a princess themed cafe that I have a feeling you would have never even thought to step into otherwise." Jaebeom countered, not saying anything about being called 'hyung' instead of 'Jaebeom-ssi.' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had a point though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Plus this has been the highlight of Jaemi's year so far. Please let me thank you for making my child so happy. You only ordered kimchi. It really is no big deal."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," Jackson said, still somewhat uncomfortable about having Jaebeom pay for his food twice now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon came back and handed over the bill, which Jaebeom paid, and then it was time to leave. Jackson felt rather bummed about leaving. He wasn't sure he'd be able to spend time with these two again and that kind of made him sad. He liked the Im family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi's jacket was <em>not</em> going back on, but Jaebeom said he planned ahead for this and had put Jaemi in layers so she'd probably still be warm even without her coat. It was a fairly mild day too so Jaebeom murmured the fight just simply wasn't worth it, especially not while in a public place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon met them at the door to say goodbye, looking like she might be considering kidnapping Jaemi when the girl rushed over to her to give her a big hug. "Thank you Princess Nayeon," she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon crouched down and looked at Jaemi with soft eyes. "I hope you come back soon Princess Jaemi," she said, looking like she genuinely meant it. "We love having Princesses like you stop by."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi looked at her dad expectantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll try," was all Jaebeom said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon stood and stepped to Jackson next, wrapping him in a tight hug "Don't be a stranger, oppa," she said. "And call me more often. I miss you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have a phone too," Jackson whined, pulling back, not wanting her to get in trouble at work for being overly friendly with customers or anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled and turned to Jaebeom. "Thanks for coming. Your daughter is absolutely enchanting."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Jaebeom said, smiling at Jaemi who looked immensely proud for someone who probably only had a vague, if any, idea of what enchanting meant. "Thank you so much for squeezing us in before July."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon laughed lightly. "Let me know if you want me to do it again. We'd love to have you back."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stepped out onto the street and began making their way toward the subway, Jaemi skipping in between them as she began to rattle off in great detail all the things she loved about the cafe. "Daddy, did you see the unicorn?" She said. "It was so pretty! It was like the one in a book that Somin has. The one with the princess who gets lost in the forest and then the unicorn helps her find her way home. It looked just like that one."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did it now," Jaebeom replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small hand reached up and grabbed Jackson's as Jaemi moved on to talk about the chandeliers of all things, which Jackson hadn't even noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down, startled, but Jaemi wasn't paying him any attention, using both his and her father's hands as support as she began two-foot jumping between the sidewalk cracks they passed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took Jackson a minute to figure out when to keep his arm bent and tense so she could use it as an anchor to lift herself over to the next crack but in a few steps she was hopping like a pro between the two of them as she went on and on about everything she liked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson made a note to tell Jaebeom to enroll her in the Korean Special Police when she was older because the amount of entirely inconsequential detail this girl had picked up on in the approximate hour and a half they were in the restaurant was unreal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What did you like best Jackson-ssi?" She asked, stopping her jumping so she could look up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson smiled down at her. If he answered honestly, it would have been just spending time with these two. They were so refreshing. Like a ray of light piercing through the clouds that always seemed to hang over Jackson. They were funny and light-hearted and were always teasing but there was so much love that shone through in every little look or action between them. They made Jackson laugh and just made him…happy? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That sounded so stupid but it was so different spending time with them then it was with Bambam or Mark. There was no baggage or off-topic conversation topics. Jaemi kept things light and silly and seeing her so easily satisfied with just looking at a painting on the wall made Jackson feel somewhat content himself. Like her overflowing happiness and joy rubbed off on him a little bit too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he obviously wasn't going to say that. That would be super weird. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just oppa is fine," he said instead of answering. It was weird when Jaebeom used the honorific, but it was even weirder somehow coming from a child. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jackson-oppa," she repeated with the biggest, sweetest smile on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson just stared at her for a moment. Were all kids this fucking <em>charming</em> or was it just this one?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom chuckled quietly, pulling Jackson's gaze toward him. "They'll be no stopping her now," he warned, " he teased, drawing Jackson's attention to him instead. He didn't seem to care that Jaemi was still  holding Jackson's hand. In fact he seemed to be rather enjoying himself if the smile on his face and the light in his eyes was anything to go by. "Prepare yourself because if she's going to call you oppa then you're officially friends for life."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson smiled because, honestly, he didn't think being friends with these two for the rest of his life sounded like a bad thing at all</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>How about I just say I'll update this monthly for the time being that way I won't feel like I'm disappointing you every time 😩 I'm sorry, I know a lot of you have been waiting of patiently and a few of you have asked if I was discontinuing it. I have no plans to since I have over 20,000 words written for the later half already. </p><p>Ps- as a fun fact, this scene used to have a bit where the cafe gave out cheap crowns for kids to wear and Jaemi made Jackson wear one too and she called him princess Jackson the whole chapter. I cut it, obviously, but it was cute and I felt like you needed to know. Maybe I'll post it on twitter if you want to read some of it. </p><p>Also, I wasn't going to talk about got7s contract coming to an end, but I'm feeling really bittersweet about it after their letter so I want to say something. Despite what some people on twitter think it meant, I think their letter kind of confirmed that we won't see ot7 again for a long time, if ever. Maybe at award shows, maybe as a single or a collab, but I don't think we'll ever see a got7 comeback as we're used to again. And I'm not mad about it, I'm not even really upset about it. They chose this path for a reason and if this is what they want to do, what makes them happy, then I'm all for it. But I will miss them. For me it's not only the end of got7 but kind of the end of the Kpop era of my life. I got into Kpop in 2016 through EXO. They're now in military enlistments and with got7 splitting up to focus on solo careers there aren't really any groups that I follow anymore. I'll try to keep up with the 7s but following and supporting 7 careers through 7 different companies is a lot of time and money I don't have. So now I'll support them from afar and remain a casual listener of kpop. I wish them all the best and I thank them for making the last 5 years of my life so enjoyable. Thank them for the music, for the laughs and for all the times they just made me smile when I needed it. All the best to them as they start this exciting new chapter 💚💚💚</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their trip to the subway was almost complete when they were waylaid by a hair salon that was having some kind of special event. Among the festivities spilling onto the sidewalk was a face painter which immediately caught Jaemi's attention. She didn't even say anything, just stopped and looked up at her father with these big eyes and Jaebeom gave in after about four and a half seconds of Jaemi's puppy eyes.</p><p>
  <span>Jackson looked at Jaebeom in surprise as Jaemi ran off to hop in the chair that a little boy had just vacated. "What happened to not ruining the dress?" He asked, eying the paints the artist was getting ready as Jaemi babbled about the designs she wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom sighed as the two of them went to lean against the building beside the tent, out of the way of passersby on the sidewalk. "It was a tight zip when I put it on her this morning but I assumed that was because I made her wear clothes underneath in case the jacket situation didn't work out well. But while we were eating I noticed the sleeves were at least an inch too short on her now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah," Jackson said, understanding where Jaebeom was going with this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If I'm going to have to get rid of it soon I may as well let her wear it into the ground until then." He paused. "And if she happens to get a little bit of paint on it that I can 'accidentally' then into a massive paint stain when I try to remove it then I can use that as an excuse to throw it away because she does <em>not</em> accept growth spurts as a reasonable excuse to get rid of clothing she loves."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Most of the time she doesn't even notice when I remove old clothing, but there are a handful of items that I know I can't touch without risking a meltdown."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Being a parent is hard," Jackson commented without thinking. He had a niece, but he didn't really talk to her or to his brother often enough to know the intricacies of parenthood, which sounded far more complex than Jackson could ever have imagined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom laughed, harder than Jackson had seen yet. "Yeah," he agreed. "It is."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I have to say, you seem to be doing a phenomenal job," Jackson said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom sent him a warm smile. "Thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Especially since you seem to be doing it on your own?" He asked, admittedly prying for more information. When they went out for ice cream Jaemi had mentioned that she didn't have a mom and Jackson had been listening carefully and, aside from Jinyoung, he hadn't heard any other names mentioned. "If I'm overstepping feel free to tell me to mind my own business."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom shook his head. "It's okay. It's just been Jaemi and I since she was born. My parents have been a godsend and Jinyoung helps whenever he can—he works weird hours though."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you have them," Jackson said honestly. He couldn't imagine how exhausting it was raising an entire human alone. Especially one as…spirited as Jaemi. She was incredibly sweet but Jackson had a feeling that her seemingly endless energy and silliness would translate into premature grey hairs for Jaebeom sooner or later. Not that he wouldn't still look gorgeous with grey hair, the asshole. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, Jaebeom didn't exactly answer the mom question and Jackson didn't want to pry anymore than he already had. Jackson was still curious about what happened to her. Did she leave? Did she pass away? Either would have been terrible for Jaebeom to endure so Jackson wasn't sure why it mattered to him so much. Jaemi clearly wasn't adopted, she looked just like her father, so Jaebeom must have had some relationship prior to her birth. Jackson just wanted to know what it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So how has the busking scene been treating you?" Jaebeom asked, interrupting thoughts Jackson would never ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good," he replied. "The warmer weather is always a relief because people give more generously than they do in winter."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Too cold to pull your hand out of your pocket."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson chuckled. "Something like that. So how is being a bigshot producer been treating you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom laughed. "I'm hardly a bigshot producer."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My friend, if you have songs charting in the top ten in Korea, you're a bigshot. That's how this works; I don't make the rules."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom smiled. "I've only ever had two songs in the top ten."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Which is two more than I've had," Jackson said pointedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom chucked again and relented the point to Jackson. "This week I was working on an album with a group called Eclipse. It's their first full length album so they've been pretty excited about it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Jackson said in surprise. "My ex almost debuted with them," he continued before he could stop himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eclipse was a <em>boy</em> group. Jackson had just admitted that he had an ex-boyfriend. He'd admitted that he liked boys to a potentially homophobic Korean man which the country did not seem to be in short supply of in Jackson's experience. He hadn't had any hate directed at him, and there were places that welcomed him with open arms for who he was, but Korea in general was a rather closed-minded place about the issue of same-sex relationships.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He risked a glance at Jaebeom, bracing himself for potential judgement and revulsion but instead found amusement. "That's impressive. The only thing my ex-boyfriend ever accomplished was winning a couple of campus beer drinking competition." He said with a soft smile at Jackson.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson would have laughed at the joke if it hadn't been in the same sentence as Jaebeom outing himself. "You're gay?" He asked quietly so the people milling around them on the sidewalk wouldn't hear, not that anyone was paying them any attention in the first place. "But…" He waved a hand toward Jaemi, hopefully implying Jackson's curiosity about how Jaebeom ended up with a child if he was into men. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bi," Jaebeom corrected in a hushed voice, looking a little uneasy. Jackson didn't blame him. This kind of thing wasn't really talked about much in Korean society. Certainly not with someone you'd only met a few times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now that's not fair. With a face like yours you should give us mere mortals <em>some</em> chance, but no, you have to go and attract everyone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom grinned at him, this absolute heartstopping grin that almost had Jackson swooning into the pavement He hadn't only been trying to lighten the mood with the joke; Im Jaebeom was fucking stunning. Especially when he smiled like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So where did you meet Eclipse?" Jaebeom asked, like the two hadn't just had a personal exchange of sexual identities. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't actually know Eclipse," Jackson said. "I've never been in their agency, but back when I first got to Korea I dated one of the other trainees in JJP. His contract expired about a year after I arrived and he ended up switching to your company. Apparently he was one of the last two or three finalists who just missed out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson had really liked Kibum. He'd helped Jackson so much in terms of getting to know Korea. He was the one who basically single handedly taught Jackson Korean too. Taught Jackson all of the cultural differences and nuances of Korean society that Jackson hadn't even thought of—like the fact that same sex couples were generally a well kept secret. It wasn't all that different from that Jackson was expecting, there had been a similar attitude about them back in Hong Kong too, but Korea in particular liked to pretend people like Jackson didn't exist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't really affect him much. While he was a physically affectionate person, he was never into public displays of affection so he had never faced any backlash for having any of his partners. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daddy! Jackson-oppa!" Jaemi said, running back over to them. "Look how pretty it is!" She said tucking her hands under her chin to frame the new paint that adorned her cheek: a crown. It was fairly simplistic but Jaemi's cheeks weren't exactly the largest canvas to work on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Honey you're the prettiest princess I've ever seen in my whole life," Jaebeom told her, bending down to kiss her paint-free forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned her proud smile to Jackson next, clearly seeking his opinion too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You look wonderful," Jackosn told her with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daddy can I have your phone?" She asked, grabbing Jaebeom's hand and looking up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom chuckled and knew exactly what she wanted because he handed her his phone with the front-facing camera turned on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi squealed when she saw herself and started moving the camera around to see her new artwork from all angles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she started taking pictures of herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson raised his eyebrows at Jaebeom after Jaemi had taken at least five. "Out of curiosity, how many pictures do you have in your camera roll?""</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom laughed. "The real question is how long does it take her to decide on which pictures to send to Grandma." He said with an exasperated look on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson laughed as they drifted away from the shop toward the subway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, Jaemi, let's head home," Jaebeom said, taking his phone back. "We might have time to get all of your work done before your soccer game."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daddy can Jackson come see my soccer game?" Jaemi asked, holding Jackson's hand once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jaemi, Jackson has spent enough time with us this weekend I think," Jaebeom said. "I'm sure he has lots of other things that he needs to do. We'll see him at the station on Tuesday."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi frowned "But I'll miss Jackson-oppa." She said, hugging his hand to her cheek. "I want him to come."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson melted. Honestly, This kid wasn't human. She was a heart-snatching demon disguised as a five year old. Even Jaebeom's expression softened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi looked up at him. "Please oppa?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson honestly didn't know what to say. Did he <em>want</em> to go to a five year old's soccer game? Not particularly, no. He usually busked on Saturday nights too and had no idea when the game was or how long it would last. She was five, so he doubted it would be very late or long, but would still cut into his busking time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he'd been looking for a reason to see these two again outside of the few minutes they saw each other at the station. Even more so now that he knew Jaebeom wasn't opposed to dating men. This could be that opportunity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jaemi, let's not bother Jackson anymore today." Jaebeom said gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which sounded like a no from Jaebeom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But looking at Jaemi's pleading eyes Jackson couldn't just <em>say</em> no. "I have some things I need to do. I'll try to come, but I won't say for sure I'll be there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," Jaemi said, surprising Jackson by letting go of his hand to give him a hug instead before they said their goodbyes and the Ims disappeared down the steps.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not too long after the two disappeared Jackson felt his phone vibrate. <strong><em>Thanks for letting her down gently. Honestly, watching kids soccer is devastatingly boring. Thank you so much for today but, really, you don't have to worry about the game.</em></strong></span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that was <em>definitely</em> a no. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em><strong>No problem. I had fun today. Tell Jaemi I'm sorry I'll miss her game and wish her luck for me.</strong> </em>Jackson replied, tucking his phone back in his pocket and heading toward the next station, which headed in his direction, wondering why he felt so guilty. </span>
</p><p>•••</p><p>
  <span>"Jaemi!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson startled and stumbled over his words as he looked over the crowd to find Jaebeom, wondering why he was yelling like that because the only other time he'd done so was when Jaemi had run off the train without him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was not in danger this time, though it seemed like Jackson might be. Jaemi weaved her way through the crowd, Jaebeom apologizing in her wake, until she was standing right in front of him, looking angry for the first time since Jackson had known her. "You didn't come!" She accused furiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson just stared at her, unsure how to respond or if he should just ignore her and keep singing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you come?” Now she looked sad as well as mad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>People were moving around her, and therefore his guitar case, so he wasn’t going to make any money until the little girl in front of him was appeased. He stopped playing and pushed his guitar onto his back so he could crouch in front of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaemi,” Jaebeom said, grabbing her shoulder as he caught up to her. “We already talked about this. Jackson didn’t have to come to your soccer game,” he said, his voice a bit angry, but Jackson suspected that he might just be embarrassed since other passengers were looking at them curiously as they passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I <em>wanted</em> him there!” Jaemi cried, looking up at her father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But that doesn’t mean he has to <em>go</em>,” Jaebeom said firmly. “Just because you want it does not mean it will happen. You do not always get everything that you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson felt weirdly like he was caught in the middle of some kind of parenting lesson Jaebeom was trying to enforce. It left him at somewhat of a loss as to how he should be replying. His initial response was to apologize and ask if there was another one he could go and see, but now he felt like he needed to come up with some kind of excuse as to why he wasn’t there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up at Jaebeom, hoping his expression was enough to convey his confusion so that Jaebeom could step in and clarify what he wanted Jackson to say, but Jaebeom was looking at his daughter. Jackson was on his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to be there Jaemi, but sometimes grown up things happen and so I can't always do the things I want to. I'm sorry if it made you sad that I wasn't there to see you play."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom smiled at him. Apparently Jackson had gotten it right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We won the game. It would have been fun for to see it," she told Jackson. "My friend scored a goal." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson smiled. "It does sound like it would have been fun." He hesitated before asking, "Do you have another game? Maybe I will be able to come and watch the next one."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi instantly brightened and told Jackson that she played every Saturday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson said he'd see what he could do and the two left to go to school and to work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again, just after they disappeared, Jaebeom texted Jackson. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Honestly, it was nice if you to offer but watching a kids soccer game is not interesting. I mean, if you really want to come then Jaemi and I would love to to see you, but, really, no pressure. </strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson stared at his phone. What the fuck did <em>that</em> mean? Did Jaebeom want him there or not?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited until he got back home to text Jaebeom. <strong><em>Look, I keep getting mixed signals from you about the whole soccer game thing and I'd honestly understand if you didn't want me to go, but I enjoy hanging out and talking with you and Jaemi is such a sweet kid. If it'll make her happy and if it's okay with you, I really don't mind spending an hour with you at one of her games. </em></strong></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom's response came through almost immediately. <strong><em>Then we will see you on Saturday.</em></strong></span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You guys. This chapter was so hard to write. I don't know have many of you have been with me since Waves (side note, how was that two YEARS ago?!) But I haven't had such a hard time written a chapter since that fic. Which is among my favorite things I've written, but oh my god it kicked my ass. <br/>I feel like this chapter is a little clunky, the transitions suck and...I don't know. It just bothers me. But I decided I didn't want to work on it anymore so I hope you'll forgive it and I promise to work harder on the next one. </p><p>I hope you will have been well and will continue to take care of yourselves till next month. I miss you guys. Good news is that were almost up to the point where I actually have stuff written so hopefully I can start for frequent updates soon. Take care 💚</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"God, I always forget how good you are at this," Mark said, coming up to where Jackson stood at the side of the stage.</p><p>"At what?" Jackson asked, genuinely confused. </p><p>Mark's dance studio always held a few showcases and competitions throughout the year. The group started as buskers and they liked to take the performances back outside a few times a year to showcase their students and to remind everyone why they deserved the fame and acclaim they'd gotten over the years. Jackson usually emceed the event for them. It had started from the group looking for an emcee who would work for dirt cheap and with Jackson desperate for money. He knew the group pretty well at that point so everyone decided it was the perfect fit. Jackson liked it. It was always a fun afternoon. </p><p>And he knew all their acrobatics so, in a pinch, he could step in and perform some of the big moves. </p><p>"Entertaining people, connecting with them," Mark answered. "I know I've seen you so this like a dozen times now but you are really good at working a crowd. You're informative and entertaining and… I don't know. You ever think of going into broadcasting?"</p><p>Jackson snorted. "Broadcasting? Like a news anchor or something?"</p><p>He tried to envision himself sitting behind a desk delivering the evening news. It was an absurd image. </p><p>"Or something," Mark said. </p><p>Jackson laughed. "Not sure I have that in me. This is different. I know you guys and I enjoy hyping you up. I don't think I'd be very effective at anything else."</p><p>Mark studied him closely for another moment before letting it slide and changing the subject. "You coming out for drinks after the show?"</p><p>The group always celebrated the end of a showcase by going out for drinks. Jackson usually did join them. He didn't go out drinking that often because alcohol was expensive, but he made an exception for Mark's group. It was only twice a year and Jackson enjoyed it. </p><p>"Can't. I'm going to a soccer game." He replied, only somewhat disappointed to be missing it. </p><p>Mark threw him a confused look. "Who do you know that plays soccer?"</p><p>"A five year old with a hot dad," Jackson admitted with a sigh. </p><p>Mark laughed, loudly and with a lot of effort. "This is the weirdest thing you've done for a guy since yo—"</p><p>Jackson covered Mark's mouth. "Do not finish that sentence, I beg of you." Jackson didn't even know what Mark was about to say. He had something of a history of doing stupid things for hot guys. Going to a kid's soccer wasn't even close to being the weirdest. </p><p>It wasn't like he <em>tried</em> to make a fool of himself. In the moment all the things he'd done seemed like totally rational choices. But hindsight was a bitch and always left Jackson wondering what on earth he'd been thinking. He was hoping this wasn't going to be something else to add to that list.</p><p>•••</p><p>He met Jaebeom and Jaemi at the soccer area, Jaemi jumping up and down when she saw him approaching, running over to hug him when he got closer. “Jackson-oppa you came!” She said happily. </p><p>He smiled at her and gently tugged he'd ponytail. "All ready for the game?"</p><p>"Yes!" She yelled at him, running back to her father's a pink backpack bouncing against her back as she went. </p><p>"Hey Jackson," Jaebeom said with a smile.</p><p>"Hey hyung," Jackson replied, deciding to just go with the hyung thing unless Jaebeom decided to correct him. </p><p>"Daddy let's go," Jaemi said, heading towards the door. "Jisoo is already here! I have to warm up with her."</p><p>Jaebeom rolled his eyes and followed his daughter, Jackson falling into step beside him. </p><p>"Thanks for coming," Jaebeom said as they entered the community centre. "Jaemi is really excited to have you here."</p><p>"I'm happy to be here," Jackson said honestly.</p><p>They walked to an indoor soccer field, the place hosting two games by the looks of the number of kids and the colour of their jerseys. Jaebeom and Jaemi headed to the half that was hosting her game dropping her backpack on the ground before running over to her coach and her teammates. </p><p>Jaebeom sighed and picked up the backpack before finding and empty spot in the metal bleachers that were liked up along one of the walls. </p><p>"So, rundown on kids soccer," Jaebeom said, reclining back against the bench behind him in a move that was far sexier than it should have been. "The game lasts half an hour, three ten minute blocks with short breaks in between." He looked over at Jackson. "And don't say I didn't warn you." </p><p>Not too much longer later, the kids all got into formation—and by 'in formation' Jackson meant that they all were at least on the same side of the field as their teammates—and then the ref dropped the ball and they were off. </p><p>Jackson watched the little bodies scramble and flock towards the ball, wincing when a little boy tripped over the ball, wincing again when a little girl tripped over <em>herself</em>. It was…not pretty. </p><p>"I can see why you kept telling me not to come." Jackson said after a few minutes. </p><p>Jaebeom chuckled. "I told you. And this is the elite league for her age group."</p><p>Jackson looked at him in mild horror. "Do I dare ask what the normal league is like?"</p><p>Jaebeom grinned. "One of her teammates kept picking up and throwing the ball and another kept wandering off the field to pick flowers--this was during the summer session when they played outside."</p><p>Jackson snorted. </p><p>"Jaemi may only have a vague idea of soccer rules, but knows enough to know that's now how you play. She is a bossy little thing and was nearly apoplectic at the end of some games. I only have her in sports as a way to burn off some energy but she'd be coming home more fired up than she was going into the game. Thank god her coach—if you want to call her that, she basically just told the parents when and where the games were. There was no actual coaching of the kids involved other than reminding them how to play every game—told me about this league. Jaemi enjoys it much better."</p><p>"I can tell," Jackson said, watching the kids running around. There were a few of them that stood out as the ones who actually knew what they were doing; Jaemi was one of them. Was she good? No, not really. But she was definitely one of the best on the field for whatever it was worth. </p><p>"She's good," Jackson commented. </p><p>"She is," Jaebeom agreed, sounding like a proud parent. "She definitely doesn't get it from me. I'm embarrassingly bad at sports."</p><p>Jackson looked away from the game and smiled at Jaebeom. "Really? You look like you're naturally athletic."</p><p>Jaebeom laughed and shook his head. "I tried sports in high school. It wasn't pretty."</p><p>Jackson thought that anything this man did would be pretty, but he kept that to himself, training back to the game on time to see Jaemi score a goal. </p><p>Jackson and Jaebom both immediately started clapping, Jackson cheering and chanting her name as she positively beamed at them. </p><p>They fell into easy conversation after that until a whistle blew and Jaemi ran over to them. </p><p>"I scored!!" She said happily. "Did you see? Did you see me score a goal?" She asked Jackson. </p><p>"I did," Jackson said, smiling at her. "Did you hear us cheering for you?"</p><p>She nodded. "It was awesome. Daddy never cheers like that."</p><p>"Yes I do!" Jaebeom argued, sounding affronted. "I <em>always</em> cheer for you!"</p><p>Jaemi sent him a look that seemed far too sassy for a five year old. "Not the way Jackson-oppa does."</p><p>Jaebeom looked wounded and Jackson barely suppressed a laugh. </p><p>Jackson handed her the pink water bottle from her backpack as Jaebeom stood up to pull her hair out of its hair tie, carefully capturing all the strands that had come loose while she was running and pulling them back together as Jaemi rambled on about the game. It was so natural, seeing them together like this; the two were so close. He supposed it was natural, given that Jaebeom was the only person Jaemi had, but watching the gentle attentiveness on Jaebeom's face as he wrangled strands of his daughter's hair back into the hair tie and the way Jaemi leaned back against his legs as she talked really was remarkably sweet. </p><p>The rest of the game passed much as the first third did, somehow the time flying by remarkably fast. Talking to Jaebeom was so effortless. Despite what Mark had said about Jackson being good at connecting with people, he wasn't. Shallow, surface level stuff sure, but actually holding a meaningful conversation with someone was something he found rather intimidating. </p><p>But talking with Jaebeom was as easy as breathing. He didn't feel any pressure to keep up the conversation like he usually did when he was alone with someone. Jaebeom was thoughtful and sarcastic and surprising in his remarks and when the whistle blew at the end of the final third, signaling the game was over, Jackson had no idea how watching five year olds trip over themselves could make fly by so quickly. </p><p>“This…was fun,” Jaebeom said, getting to his feet as the teams huddled around their coaches. “I don’t usually enjoy these games. I mean, Jaemi loves them so I love them for her and I definitely love how much of her energy they burn, but it is not entertaining watching little kids run in circles for half an hour.”</p><p>Jackson laughed, surprised by Jaebeoms’s bluntness. "While the game was not the most entertaining thing I've ever seen," Jackson conceded. "The company was pretty good."</p><p>Jaebeom smiled at him and Jackson felt those damn butterflies again. This man had no right to be so beautiful. "The company was excellent," he agreed. </p><p>Jaemi bounced back over to them, looking remarkably chipper for a girl whose team just lost the soccer game. Jackson would have thought she'd be very competitive but she looked utterly content as she smiled up at them. </p><p>"You played so well today," Jackson told her. "I'm sorry that your team didn't win."</p><p>"Daddy says that I didn't lose as long as I tried my best," Jaemi replied. </p><p>"That's right," Jaebeom said, looking at her with soft eyes. "And did you try your best today?"</p><p>"Yes!"</p><p>"So did you lose?"</p><p>"No!"</p><p>Jaebeom looked like he was absolutely going to burst with pride as he bent down and kissed Jaemi's cheek before holding out her backpack for her to put on. </p><p>He glanced up at Jackson, who quickly wiped off what he was certain was a stupidly sappy smile. "She is on a few sports teams throughout the year," he said quietly as Jaemi ran over to say goodbye to her friends. "If I didn't think of some way to soften the blow when she loses then it would just be a waste of time."</p><p>"You're an amazing dad," Jackson told him honestly. </p><p>"Thank you," Jaebeom said with what looked like an embarrassed smile. "I'm trying my best."</p><p>Jackson recalled his childhood experience with fencing. His father had been a former Olympic athlete and used to push Jackson to do the same. Whenever Jackson lost a match he wasn't met with kisses or sweet sayings. He was met with a list of things he'd done wrong.</p><p>Not that Jackson minded. He was a viciously competitive person and could turn even the stupidest things into an intense battle. Which was one of the reasons he has wanted to get out of sports and switch to music. It was too stressful being competitive all the time, too consuming worrying about all the things he needed to do to win all the time. He wondered if he'd still be fencing if he took a more leisurely approach to the sport instead. </p><p>"Jackson-oppa, come get hotteok with us!" Jaemi said, grabbing his hand and pulling him from his thoughts as they headed towards the exit. </p><p>"Hotteok?" Jackson asked, looking down at her.</p><p>"It's tradition on days where my team doesn't win," she said. </p><p>"Extra incentive not to throw a fit," Jaebeom whispered over her head. </p><p>Jackson smiled. He loved hotteok. It was kind of like a cross between a pancake and a jelly filled donut. They were filled with a filling of your choice and could be made either savory or sweet depending on what you wanted it put inside. He didn't eat it often because, aside from Bambam's family restaurant, he didn't eat out, but it was hands down one of his top five Korean street foods. </p><p>"There is an amazing food truck in the park behind the arena," Jaebeom said. "Super cheap too."</p><p>Jackosn couldn't resist super cheap hotteok. "What are we hanging around here for?"</p><p>•••</p><p>As promised the hotteok was both delicious and cheap. He nearly moaned when the soft, warm dough mixed with the sweet red bean paste filling melted on his tongue. He hadn't had fried desserts in so long and this was <em>so</em> worth the dollar fifty it cost him. </p><p>"I told you," Jaebeom said with a grin as the three of them sat on a park bench not too far away from the food stall. </p><p>Jackson almost blushed, wondering what face he'd been making that prompted Jaebeom to say that. "This would definitely soften the blow of not winning," he agreed. </p><p>Jaebeom laughed and took a bite of his own treat. </p><p>Jaemi didn't even sit still while she was eating. Carefully carrying her hotteok in one hand as she hopped around on the path in front of them, ignoring Jaebeom's admonishment that she should sit down while she eats. It was like she had never played a soccer game at all. The energy of a child was a scary thing. Jackson couldn't even imagine what she'd be like if she didn't play sports. Or if she ate too much sugar. </p><p>Jackson was almost done his hotteok when his phone started vibrating. He stabbed his fork into his food and pulled it out of his pocket, smiling when he saw his mom's photo ID. "I'll be right back," he told Jaebeom and Jaemi, setting his food on the bench beside Jaebeom as he got to his feet and took a few steps away. "Hey mom."</p><p>His long distance phone plan was one of the few luxuries that Jackson allowed himself. No… Not a luxury. A necessity. He hadn't been able to afford to go home to see his family in years so not being able to talk to his mom whenever he needed was torture. There had been a span of about three months where he'd had to cut the plan out and it was torture. There were many things that Jackson had given up, and had given up willingly, to survive in Korea but being able to talk to his mother had never been, and would never be, one of them. </p><p>"How's my baby doing? I haven't heard from you in a while." His mom said. </p><p>He'd talked to her two days ago, but he still smiled at her words. The only thing he genuinely regretted about moving to Korea was that he hadn't seen his parents in person in about four years. Four <em>years</em>. Fuck, just thinking about devastated him. Talking to them was fine, but it wasn't the same at all. </p><p>"Doing good. Keeping busy, same as always," Jackson said. He did feel guilty about lying to her. But telling her the truth about the state of his life wouldn't do any good. If he told them he needed money, they'd send it to him regardless of the fact that they didn't have much to spare. They were comfortable but there wasn't enough left over to support Jackson too. They had given up so much to raise him; Jackson wouldn't let them give up anything else to support him now. They deserved to have a good life. </p><p>"Learn any new songs to sing to me?"</p><p>Jackson smiled. She always asked him to sing to her even though she didn't speak Korean and never knew what the songs he sang were about. "I'm sorry mom, but can I call you back? I'm with a friend right now."</p><p>There was a pause on the other end of the phone and Jackson knew exactly what his mom was thinking. Sophia knew all of Jackson's friends. He usually put her on speakerphone so she could mom them from afar like she did with him, asking if they were eating right or thanking them for taking care of Jackson when she couldn't. She was no doubt wondering who this friend was that Jackson wasn't introducing her too. </p><p>It wasn't that Jackson didn't <em>want</em> to tell his mom about Jaebeom—Jaebeom was amazing and Jackson would tell anyone how lucky he was the man considered Jackson to be worth his time—but Jaemi complicated things. </p><p>His mom would go nuts if he told her he was interested in someone who had a kid. Ever since he told her he was gay the only thing that bothered her had been the fact she wouldn't have grandchildren. If Jackson started dating someone with a child she would spoil that child rotten from across the ocean and there was nothing Jackson could do to stop her. He wasn't sure if his relationship with Jaebeom was headed in that direction though and Jackson just didn't want to give her false hope. It was too soon for that. </p><p>"Okay," she said, surprising Jackson by not asking outright. "We will talk later though, right?"</p><p>Jackson sighed. "Yes momma. I'll call you tomorrow." He was busking after Jaemi's game and didn't want to call her too late. </p><p>"Okay, have fun. I love you."</p><p>"I love you too mom. Tell Dad I love him too," Jackson replied before hanging up the phone. </p><p>He looked back at Jaebeom and Jaemi and the reality of what he'd done sunk in. He had hidden them from his mom. He'd hidden them because he didn't want her to get too far ahead of him. Because Jackson wanted to eventually get there. </p><p>He wanted a relationship with Jaebeom. If Jackson wasn't serious about it, if he just wanted to hang out with them as friends, he wouldn't have felt the need to hide them, to avoid having to break her heart her if things didn't work out later on. </p><p>But…Jaebeom had a child. Was he even interested in dating? A five year old consumed a lot of time and energy. Was a relationship something that Jaebeom was looking for? He hadn't turned down Jackson's company, but that didn't mean he wanted him as a boyfriend either.</p><p>Jackson was at a loss. He hadn't done the dating thing in far too long and he had no experience trying to date someone with a kid. </p><p>It should be Jaebeom's choice he decided. He'd flirt and drop hints but would wait for Jaebeom to make the first move. Dating would be far more of an imposition on his life than it would be on Jackson's. Jackson could be patient and wait for him…probably. </p><p>"Jackson," Jaebeom cried, pulling Jackson's attention back to them. He was holding Jaemi against his chest as she laughed and made grabby hands at Jackson's abandoned hotteok. "The hotteok monster is here and she's hungry! I can't hold her back for long!"</p><p>Jaemi started growling and Jackson couldn't stop the smile from taking over his face as he started walking back over. "I hear that the only way to fight a hotteok monster is with tickles."</p><p>Jaebeom hummed thoughtfully. "Tickles you say," he said, dropping Jaemi on his lap and wiggling his fingers over her stomach, making her giggle wildly. </p><p>Jackson wasn't even mad when she accidentally kicked his remaining hotteok on the ground as she squirmed to evade her father's fingers. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this took a little longer than I had planned. It's been a hell of a month 😩</p><p>I decided to reread some of my old  fics and was surprised at how good they were. I know that sounds super conceited, but I really liked the stories I've come up with. I was honestly like "did I really write this?!" sometimes. I'm super proud of the collection of works I've created here. So I'm going to be less negative from now on. At some point I've hated all of my fics so rereading them and loving them after the fact made me realize that this one will probably turn out just fine on the end too. </p><p>It's hard though because days/ weeks will pass when I don't work on it so I'll have to reread the whole chapter to remind myself what was happening so by the time I end up posting it I've reread it and tweaked it SO. MANY. TIMES that it just sounds weird to me. </p><p>Thank you so much for reading and I hope that you all have been taking care of yourselves. I'm so grateful for you ❤️❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jackson was dead asleep when his phone started ringing, jarring him awake. </p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” he slurred tiredly into the phone, not bothering to check the caller idea because that would involve fully opening his eyes which Jackson had no interest in doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jackson, thank god,” a panicked voice said in his ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson's eyes flew open as he pulled the phone away from his ear to see who was calling him since he didn’t recognize the voice immediately. His heart skipped a beat when he read Jaebeom’s name across his screen. “Jaebeom-hyung? What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to ask an enormous favour of you,” Jaebeom said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Jackson said, sitting up and rubbing a hand over his hair to push it out of his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to work today. Which I don’t normally do on the weekends because my company knows I have a kid and they’re really good about giving me hours that work with her daycare. But sometimes there are idols that you just don’t say no to, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re rambling, hyung,” Jackson pointed out, pretty sure he knew where this was going. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Fuck, sorry. Can you watch Jaemi for me today?” Jaebeom pleaded. “Today I’m supposed to be working with one of those clients. My parents usually come down to watch her when things like this happen but my dad fell on the stairs this morning and hurt himself and while dad says he's just fine my mom is insisting they go to the clinic because he has a bad back and she wants to make sure and then Jinyoung is usually my backup after that, but he has to go to work in an hour, and then after that I usually ask one of my neighbours who has a daughter that goes to Jaemi’s school but she’s not picking up her phone and—,” Jaebeom cut himself off with a shaky sigh. “I’ll pay you, buy you dinner for a month, get you a Ferrari, anything you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson chuckled. “It’s fine, hyung, I’ll watch her. Though that Ferrari might be nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom exhaled. “Oh my god, Jackson, thank you. You aren’t working today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He technically wasn't, but he had a few new songs that he was planning on learning. But how was he supposed to just leave Jaebeom in this situation? He sounded like he was about to lose his mind. “It’s okay. This is more important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Jaebeom asked, sounding hesitant even through his desperation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m on my way,” he said, kicking off his blankets and getting to his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jackson, my work is not more important than yours,” Jaebeom sighed. “This is my concern and I won’t cause problems for you just to fix mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson smiled. Im Jaebeom was a genuinely good man. “I’m hanging up now. I'm about to walk out my door. Text me your address."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Jaebeom said again before ending the call. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson crossed to his closet and pulled out some jeans and a hoodie before making his way to his kitchen and eying his mostly empty cupboards. Maybe he could eat at Jaebeom’s…? Ignoring the growl of his stomach, Jackson grabbed his jacket and keys and left his apartment.</span>
</p><p>•••</p><p>
  <span>Forty-five minutes later found himself walking into Jaebeom’s apartment. It seemed that finding someone to take care of his daughter hadn't settled his nerves because Jaebeom was still moving around his home like a whirlwind as he let Jackson inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so I left a list of numbers you can call if anything happens. Myself, obviously, but Jinyoung said that you could call him if you needed to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson tried and failed to envision himself calling an absolute stranger to ask for help regarding Jaemi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My parents’ numbers are also there and would be more than willing to help if you needed them,” Jaebeom continued, barely even looking at Jackson as he pointed to a stack of papers on the kitchen island. “Her health card and medical information is there just in case you need to take her to the hospital for any reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did Jaebeom think was going to happen in the next six hours?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have lunch for both of you in the fridge; help yourself to anything else you want while you're here. I’ve also made you a list of her favourite things to do, favourite books and movies. I try to limit her screen time, but Frozen is always good if you just need her to sit still and stop talking for an hour. But in case you get too cooped up being inside all day, I’ve left a map to a park around the corner you can take her to.” He finally looked up at Jackson then. “Be careful about that one though, she can get pretty bossy around kids she doesn’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson put his hands on Jaebom’s shoulders. “Hyung, calm down,” he said soothingly. He eyed the stacks of paper Jaebeom had compiled. “I think that you’ve left us enough stuff to do until she enters high school. Jaemi and I will be <em>fine</em>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom took a deep breath. “Right, okay. Thanks. I’m just…not good at letting new people take care of her I guess.” His eyes widened when he realized that his words might have offended Jackson. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t trust you. It just… She can be a very different kid when I’m not around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will be fine, and you’ve left a very comprehensive list of things that I can do if we’re not. I’ve got this, she will be fine. Now you need to go to work,” Jackson said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom looked over Jackson's shoulder and his eyes widened. "Fuck, I'm so late." He moaned, pulling away from Jackson. "Jaemi, Jackson's here!" He called, moving toward the front door and picking up his leather messenger bag as little footsteps came running down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jackson-oppa!" She cried happily, running over and attaching herself to Jackson's leg. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson smiled and ran a hand over her hair. "Hey little princess, how are you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled up at him brightly, her little smile just like her father's. "Good!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom kneeled and beckoned his daughter closer. "You be a good girl for Jackson, okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi nodded. "Okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Promise Jaemi," Jaebeom said sternly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi looked down at her cute little crown slippers. "I promise."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson wasn't sure exactly how much a promise from a five year old was worth, but he'd take it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom smiled fondly at his daughter, leaned in and kissed her forehead, and then got to his feet. He looked at Jackson and for a split second Jackson envisioned getting a kiss goodbye himself. But all Jaebeom did was thank him once again before turning and leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson turned to look down at Jaemi, who was looking up at him expectantly. She was also still wearing her blue and purple space pyjamas and her hair was a chaotic mess. "Well it's just you and me I guess, kiddo," he said reaching out and trying to tame down some of her bed head. "What do we want to do first? Start a rock band? Paint pictures on the walls? Get a pet rhinoceros?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi laughed again. Jackson loved it when she did that. He literally had to make bare minimum jokes and she'd laugh like he was the funniest man alive. Five year olds were such a huge ego boost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or how about we start with that hair,” Jackson said, eying a few strands that were defying gravity and staying straight up. “Were you battling dragons in there? What happened to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was in my fort,” she replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your fort?” Jackson asked, raising an eyebrow. “You have a fort hidden away in there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reached out and tugged his hand, pulling him towards the hall. "Come see!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson followed her down a short hallway next to the kitchen spying the bathroom and a darkened room that Jackson suspected was Jaebeom's, before being pulled into Jaemi's room. It was definitely a little girls room, the walls a soft lavender with wall stickers of snowflakes, planets and soccer balls placed in random spots that Jackson was fairly certain Jaemi herself had chosen. There were stuffies scattered around the room, the large white mesh laundry bin labeled 'toys' nearly empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the middle of the room was her fort. The blankets had been pulled off her bed and draped over what Jackson guessed were chairs given their height. Jaemi release his hand, dropping onto her hands and knees and disappearing within, her beaming smile reappearing a moment later. "Come inside!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh," he said, eying the small interior. It was fine for a five year old, but there definitely wasn't enough room in there for Jackson. And he wasn't about to try to go in in case he tore the whole thing down. "Not sure I'll fit in there Sweet Girl," he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her smile dimmed. "Daddy doesn't fit in either."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson was so glad he did not have children. Jaemi didn't even look sad, just mildly disappointed, and Jackson was ready to take on the world to make her happy. His kid would have been such a spoiled brat because how could he say no to a face that cute?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We could always make a bigger one," he suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked up at him curiously. "A bigger one?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Jackson said. "We just need bigger blankets," he added, eying the small child-sized blankets piled on the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daddy's blankets are huge," Jaemi says, scrambling out of her fort and running across the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whoa, wait," Jackson said, following her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi turned to look at him, the corner of Jaebeom's blanket in her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think we should use the ones on his bed," Jackson said, wondering how on earth to explain privacy to a child. "Daddy worked hard to make his bed. We wouldn't want to ruin that, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi looked at the blankets in her hands before releasing the fabric. "No," she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you know where daddy keeps the extra blankets?" Jackson asked. "Like the ones you use when your current blankets are in the wash."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi looked at him blankly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson sighed. "Let's just use your blankets. I'm sure we can make it work."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi nodded and the two of them went back to her room to get her blankets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got temporarily sidetracked when Jaemi insisted on giving Jackson a tour of her fort, <em>clearly</em> doubting that Jackson knew how to make one properly. Though, to her credit, Jackson had had no idea that a princess fort needed a dungeon. For the bad toys to go to when they broke the rules, obviously. Jaemi was such an interesting child. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fort tour complete, they grabbed her galaxy blankets and headed back to the living room, Jaemi grabbing some of her stuffed toys to help supervise the construction of the fort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson was arranging the kitchen chairs just so when his phone rang. He frowned when he saw Jaebeom's name on the screen. "It's your dad," he told Jaemi before answering the phone. "Aren't you supposed to be on your way to work?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, just got here. I took a cab to get here faster," Jaebeom replied, sounding a little out of breath. "Just…wanted to make sure you got settled and everything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson almost laughed, but it was clear that Jaebeom was still frazzled. Still, Jackson couldn't help but quip, "She has me tied up in the closet. I think her boyfriend is coming over."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That is not funny," Jaebeom said flatly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson's laugh bubbled free. "We're fine. We're building a blanket fort in your living room." He turned the phone to Jaemi. "Want to say hi to your dad?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi came running over. "Daddy we need your blankets for the fort but Jackson-oppa said we shouldn't use them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson sighed and closed his eyes. He probably should have expected that, shouldn't he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom laughed. "Sure honey, go ahead."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi ran down the hall to Jaebeom's room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I apologize in advance for the state of your apartment when you get home," he told Jaebeom, who just laughed again.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's fine. I'm used to it at this point. It sounds like things are going well." He sounded relieved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I told you, Jaemi and I will be just fine. You don't have to worry. Just focus on your work. I promise that I will let you know if things get out of my control." He didn't think that would happen, Jaemi might have been silly and stubborn but she wasn't a bad kid. He hoped it would give Jaebeom some peace of mind though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, thank you." Jaebeom said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No need to thank me. I'm glad I could help out a friend," Jackson said as Jaemi came back into view, Jaebeom's blankets dragging on the floor behind her as she struggled to move them. She had them up over her head and Jackson had no idea how she knew where she was going. "But unless you want all the lamps in the living room broken, I'm going to have to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom laughed. "Have fun, I'll see you later this afternoon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bye hyung," Jackson said, dropping his phone on the table and grabbing the blankets from Jaemi before she ran into an end table. </span>
</p><p>•••</p><p>
  <span>Jackson was surprised. He was… He was having <em>fun</em> playing with Jaemi. Like genuine, couldn't-keep-the-smile-off-his-face fun with this insane little human who came up with all kinds of nonsense and who clearly thought Jackson was <em>so dumb</em> for not knowing about any kid shows but also laughed at anything Jackson said that was even remotely funny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd liked Jaemi from the start. She was sweet and kind and the cutest damn kid Jackson had ever seen, but he wasn't expecting to have fun when he agreed to babysit her. He was just helping Jaebeom out, making sure Jaemi was safe and supervised for the day. He thought it'd be like taking care of her back at the security station from the subway station. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Jaebeom wasn't kidding when he said his daughter was different without him around. Now that she was comfortable with Jackson and she was in the comfort of her own home Jaemi was like a firecracker as she bounced and skipped and danced all around her house, mess just spontaneously popping up in her wake as she sang and laughed and came up with at least a hundred games that they needed to play <em>immediately</em>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd been slayed numerous times and brushed off his acting skills by being assigned the role of all sorts of different monsters. He learned that Princess Jaemi was also a knight and was excellent at killing monsters. The kid was pretty good at acting too if he was honest. At the very least, she was very committed to her roles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're fun, Jackson," Jaemi said happily as she munched away on her apple slices during a mid-afternoon snack break. "I wish you could babysit me all the time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" Jackson asked, amused as he chewed on an apple of his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. "Jinyoung-oppa is fun too, but he doesn't play with me the way you do. And grandma and grandpa are old and I have to be careful not to make them tired."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson was surprised that Jaemi had that awareness. He wondered how many times Jaebeom had needed to repeat himself before she remembered it on her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned at her snack. "Grandma and Grandpa were supposed to play with me today but… Grandpa hurt himself," she said sadly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson was startled when she looked up at him and asked "Is grandpa okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson was at an utter loss about what to say. He had no idea if her grandpa was okay. He assumed whatever injury he'd sustained was relatively minor because he was sure that no client was more important to Jaebeom than his parents were, so the fact he went to work instead of back home meant that his dad was probably okay. From what Jaebeom had said it had sounded like Jaebeom's mom was being over cautious with him. But Jackson didn't know how to explain that to Jaemi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears filled her eyes. "I miss Grandpa," she cried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson swore under his breath, dropping his apple on the counter and moving around the kitchen table so that he was sitting next to Jaemi instead of across from her. "Grandpa will be just fine," he said as soothingly as he could, gently rubbing her back, trying to avoid full-on crying. God he hoped that was true because lying to her about the health of someone so important to her made Jackson feel like shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Grandpa!" She cried even harder, tears breaking free of her lashes and trailing down her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson stared at her in horror. Where did the happy little girl from barely thirty seconds ago go? Was it normal for kids to have such violent mood swings like this? What the hell was Jackson supposed to do about it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Desperate, he reached out and picked her up, pulling her onto his lap so he could wrap his arms around her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kept on crying, only now she buried her face in his chest and was getting tears and snot on his shirt instead. Great. That was a great move. So much better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson looked around the room, trying to find something that he could use to distract her. His eyes fall on Jaebeom's thick stack of papers. Jackson hadn't even read them yet. He'd arrived and then they'd built the fort in the living room and then Jaemi's imagination had taken it from there. Maybe he should have. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He recalled Jaebeom mentioning that he'd left his parents numbers. Maybe he could call them…? Maybe Jaemi would calm down if she could talk to or see her grandfather. Or maybe there was bruising or a more serious injury than Jackson knew of or he was in the hospital and seeing it would only scare her more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay. That was out. Couldn't take that risk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay. What else did she like? Frozen. Jaebeom did mention that it was good at keeping her occupied for a while. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But… That seemed so insensitive. She was genuinely worried about her grandfather. She missed someone who was important to her who had been hurt. Her tears, while currently the bane of Jackson's existence, were real and not unfounded and just sticking her in front of a television to watch a movie as a way to distract her because Jackson didn't like her crying just seemed like a shitty thing to do. Just because she was a kid didn't mean her feelings weren't important, weren't valid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Jaemi?" He asked, loud enough to be heard over her continued sobs. "Why don't we make something for Grandpa?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned to look up at him. "M-make s-something?" She asked, tears sparkling like diamonds in her eyelashes. And snot dripping down her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Jackson said, reaching for the napkin he'd given her with her snack and carefully wiping her face, trying to pretend like he wasn't a 2-ply tissue away touching another human's snot. "Like draw him a picture, or make him a card. I'm sure he'll feel better if he sees something that you made for him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi said nothing for a few seconds. "Really?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson nodded. "If I was sick or not feeling well, a card made by someone I love always makes me feel a million times better," he lied. He didn't think anyone had ever given him a get well soon card. To be fair, he didn't think he'd ever given one either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi nodded, looking determined. "I'm going to make so many that grandpa will feel all better!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jaemi ran off to get paper and her crayons Jackson wondered if this has been a good idea after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>•••</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Four cards, a self-portrait and a painting of Jaemi, Jaebeom and her grandparents playing outside later, Jaemi had decided that she'd created enough get-well-soon art. Good thing too because the painting had all but destroyed the kitchen table with paint splatter and dirty paint water. Jackson should have put something down first to protect the table.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He checked the time before eying the disaster that was the rest of the apartment and decided that Jaebeom would never let him come over if he came home to this disaster. He didn't have an exact time that Jaebeom was coming home, but he said later in the afternoon and it was already almost four. "Hey kiddo, I think it's cleaning time." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi whined and Jackson secretly agreed with her. Cleaning wasn't exactly his favourite either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down at her. "You pick up all your toys and take them back to your room and I'll clean up the kitchen table and fold daddy's blankets back up. Deal?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Deal," she said, jumping off her chair and climbing into the fort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson set aside the painting to dry and grabbed the paper towels to start tackling the painting mess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was delayed in folding the bedding because Jaemi had disappeared into her room with the first arm load of toys and hadn't come out and he didn't hear her either. Which seemed remarkably suspicious to Jackson. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Everything okay in here?" Jackson asked, leaning against the doorframe. She had messily rebuilt her fort and was laying on her stomach inside, her little feet swinging in the air, poking outside the blankets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lifted the blanket to peek at him. "Don't come in! I'm making a surprise."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A surprise," he asked as he stepped inside. He hoped it wasn't something else for grandpa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, a surprise for you oppa."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson's hands stilled on the blankets he was shifting so they were more securely on top of the bedframe and her chair. "For me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, so no peeking," she continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm, no peeking," he said before pulling the blanket off of her, making her shriek and throw stuffed animals at him to get him to go away. Which he caught and threw back which prompted an unintentional stuffed animal war that only ended when Jaemi opened her closet to a whole other bin of stuffed-toy ammo which prompted Jackson to plead for mercy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gloatingly kicked him out of her room so she could finish her surprise, which Jackson hadn't been able to catch sight of before the war broke out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw the abandoned blankets on the couch which he had already completely forgotten about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened after he'd folded one of them, startling Jackson. He looked up to see Jaebeom walk in. "Hey, welcome home." He wondered if Jaebeom had texted saying he was heading home, but he hadn't seen his phone in like two hours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom just smiled at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How was work?" Jackson said, the utter domesticity of the whole situation not going unnoticed by him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It went well," Jaebeom said, setting down his bag on the kitchen island. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daddy!" Jaemi said, apparently having heard her father's voice as she ran out of her room and into her father's arms, immediately launching into a detailed explanation of every single thing she and Jackson had done that day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom listened with a soft smile on his face, occasionally glancing over at Jackson who kept folding bedding and tried not to feel weird about it. His phone fell out of the second blanket, having been trapped in one of the folds. There was indeed a text from Jaebeom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sounds like you two had a good day then," Jaebeom said when Jaemi had finally run out of things to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Today was the best," Jaemi said. "I <em>always</em> want Jackson-oppa to babysit me!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson smiled at her. "It was fun," he agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sounds like I made that list of activities for nothing," Jaebeom remarked, setting Jaemi back onto the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson laughed. "Miss Jaemi has a remarkable imagination," he said, smiling when Jaemi laughed at being called a miss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I'm aware." He looked at Jackson in what almost looked like admiration. "But not many people have the stamina or the patience to keep up with it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson grinned. "Honestly, it was fun," he repeated. "It was a good day."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Will you stay for dinner?" Jaebeom asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, it's okay. I don't want to impose," Jackson said reflexively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom shook his head "You saved me today. It's not an imposition at all." He paused before continuing. "Plus, Jaemi had you for the whole day. I haven't talked to you at all yet. That doesn't seem fair, does it," he added with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson just stared at him as Jaebeom turned to the fridge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That… Was that Jaebeom flirting with him?</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Surprise! Look at me updating after only a week! Who remembers the days where I used to do weekly updates ALL the time? Man, I miss those days. We've officially reached the chapters that I started pre-writing so hopefully I can start getting them out sooner. I had almost all of this one written. I also have almost all of the next one written too. Will I be able to post it next week? Maybe? Realistically I'll probably need two weeks to finish it, but it's still better than a month, right?</p><p>Take good care everyone 💚</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a heads up, this chapter has very brief mentions of abortion. If that is something that is triggering for you please take care while reading.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"She's asleep," Jaebeom said, falling onto the couch next to Jackson. </p><p>
  <span>"Your place seems strangely…quiet without her though," Jackson commented, the utter stillness of the space so unlike how it had been for most of the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom sent him a grin. "I know. When she was a toddler I used to count the <em>seconds</em> until she went down for a nap, but like twenty minutes into the nap… I'd miss her." He looked embarrassed by the confession but Jackson thought it was the cutest fucking thing he'd ever heard. This man was just as precious as his daughter was. "It was too quiet without her. I've, embarrassingly, woken her up early from a few naps just because I missed her while she was asleep."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's adorable," Jackson said, making Jaebeom's smile soften. <em>You're adorable</em>, went unsaid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want a beer?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Jackson said, not wanting to go home just yet. Despite when Jaebeom said, they hadn't really talked all that much. Not without Jaemi anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom stood and walked to the fridge, Jackson following him with his eyes. Jaebeom was a pretty casual and relaxed person generally but in his own home…the way he moved and acted was so comfortable and was a side of him that Jackson had not seen yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry about today," Jaebeom said as he walked back to the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For the hundredth time, don't be," Jackson said, accepting the beer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I normally wouldn't have made such a big deal out of it. Sure there are some artists that I love working with and there are some artists that boost my paycheque more than others, but none of them are more important to me than Jaemi is. I think I've mentioned this already, but the company is really understanding with kid emergencies. I have a good track record of being where I'm supposed to be when I'm supposed to be there so they are good when something comes up unexpectedly because it doesn't happen often," Jaebeom rambled, fidgeting with the label on his beer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what was different about today?" Jackson asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom sighed. "I was pitching one of my own songs as a title track for the biggest idol group that I work with."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait, I thought you were a <em>producer</em>," Jackosn said, turning to face Jaebeom more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I <em>do</em> work as a producer. But I also write every now and then. I give my demos to the company and they decide what happens to them. Most of my songs don't get accepted, though the occasional one will be accepted as a B-side, sometimes a song will be bought by another company. I've only had one made it onto the top one hundred. At ninety seven." He looked proud of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wrote this song about a year ago that I thought would fit this group so well. I didn't give it over like my other songs and held onto it, tweaking it as the group's sound changed so that it matched them even better. I was letting them hear it today."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He trailed off, eyes on his beer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson was nearly dying. <em>"And?"</em> He almost yelled, quieting himself at the last minute because he remembered Jaemi was asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They liked it," Jaebeom said, this adorable smile gracing his face. "It's going to be on the album, on the short list for the title track."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson almost screamed again. He held himself back, reaching out and grabbing Jaebeom instead, pulling him in close for a side hug. "Hyung that's so amazing. I'm so proud of you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom surprised him by leaning against Jackson, comfortably settled against Jackson's shoulder. "Thanks. I still don't think that I've fully processed it yet. All the songs that I've written so far have been B-sides. This could be my first ever title track that I've written and produced myself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom didn't sit back up, shifting so the two were more comfortably entwined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson stilled. Despite the flirty comment Jaebeom had thrown his way hours ago, he hadn't really said or done anything that particularly signalled romantic interest. Except this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So what did Jackson do now? He hadn't dated in so long that he'd completely forgotten how to do this. Did he pull Jaebeom closer? Start stroking his hair? Confess? Ask him out? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson sighed at his own complete and utter incompetence. "You and your family must be so excited," he said, deciding to just ignore the fact that Jaebeom was resting against his side and continue the conversation as he normally would have. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom bolted up. "Shit, I forgot to call my mom," Jaebeom said, setting down his beer and getting to his feet to go to get his phone from the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You said your dad was okay?" Jackson asked, trying to remember the warmth of Jaebeom's body pressed against his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom nodded, picking up his phone. "Mom texted to apologize for not being here because she overreacted. She sounded like she felt pretty guilty. I meant to call her earlier to tell her it was fine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put his phone to his ear and Jackson turned away to give them a but of privacy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson's eyes landed on the family photos on the wall above the television. A collage-style frame with about a dozen pictures of Jaemi from all stages of life with Jaebeom, a couple Jackson assumed were Jaebeom's parents and one or two with a man Jackson assumed was Jinyoung. No picture of Jaemi's mom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson wasn't even sure why it bothered him so much. It obviously didn't matter to Jaemi and yet Jackson felt like it did matter. He felt like not knowing what happened to Jaemi's mom might cause him to say the wrong thing. What if she'd died? Jaebeom's reaction back when Jaemi had mentioned not having a mom was worrying. Part of him suspected that Jaemi didn't bring up the subject ever and so Jaebeom was just surprised, but another part of him worried there was a deeper reason for the expression that Jaebeom had made. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was obviously a topic that Jaemi knew or cared nothing about, but it seemed to be a sensitive one for Jaebeom. Jackson didn't want to say or do anything to make him uncomfortable again. What if she <em>had</em> died? Unlikely, as Jackson suspected Jaebeom would still have photos of her if that was the case, but Jackson hated that there was this whole mystery and that he might inadvertently say something that could cause Jaebeom pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mom's fine," Jaebeom said, coming back into the living room. "I talked her out of her guilt and she wanted me to thank you for coming and helping me with Jaemi today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She may disagree when she gets that heap of get-well-soon art," Jackson said, nodding to the pile in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson had been gifted his own surprise just before dinner, a thank you card. That's what Jaemi said it was at least. The words on the card were neither thank or you and Jackson honestly wasn't sure if some of the symbols were real Korean or not. He'd lived there eight years and was pretty fluent, but he'd still come across something every now and then that he didn't know. Still, he appreciated it all the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom laughed as he settled onto the couch. Beside Jackson, not leaning into him like he'd done a few minutes ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can… Can I ask you something?" Jackson asked tentatively, glancing at the pictures again briefly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure, go ahead," Jaebeom said, looking at him curiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are more than welcome to tell me to mind my own business, but…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Understanding overtook Jaebeom's face as his gaze flickered to the wall of photos Jackson had been looking at. "Let me guess: Jaemi's mother?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson nodded, trying not to look sheepish. "Again, feel free to tell me to fuck off."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom sighed heavily. "It's fine. Jaemi's mom… She's actually an idol."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson's jaw dropped open an inch, that having been the last thing he'd expected Jaebeom to say. <em>"What?"</em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom ran a hand down over his face. "It was a stupid, horrible situation that we both put ourselves in that could have ruined both our careers. I was a part of the production crew for her group back then; that was how we met. I was twenty four, she was twenty one. She was gorgeous and flirty and I apparently had no self control <em>or</em> professional boundaries because we started sleeping together a few weeks after finishing their album. I wouldn't even call it dating. We never went out or anything, it was just sex."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson almost wished he hadn't brought it up. Hearing about Jaebeom's sexual relationships was not where he thought the conversation would be heading when he asked about Jaemi's mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It lasted for about five or six months before she got pregnant. To this day I'm not sure how; we were both always sure to be careful every single time. But… here we are. You always hear about how condoms are only 98% effective but let me tell you, being in that 2% is a <em>really</em> shitty place to be." He looked sad. "Obviously she paid a far higher price for our mistake than I did. I ended up quitting the company. Or relationship didn't exactly get out and she never told anyone I was the father but, <em>fuck</em>, I felt so guilty. I couldn't even look at her or her group mates." He looked pained even after all this time. "I'm sure it was confirmed after I left, but I honestly don't know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know we were both consenting adults and I know that I didn't get her pregnant on my own, but I was able to re-sign with a new company within two months. I could still work. She had to carry a child, something that easily could have ended not only her career but her entire groups' career as well." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked towards Jaemi's bedroom. "It's so unthinkable now, but we did talk about abortion. If she had decided to terminate the pregnancy I wouldn't have tried to stop her. It could have cost her everything she'd worked toward for almost a decade, her career and dreams were at stake and… Well, I didn't really have the right to tell her what she should do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She chose to keep the baby?" Jackson said, forever grateful to whoever this woman was for putting everything at risk to carry that precious little girl who had turned Jackson's world on its end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that Jackson could get pregnant, but he had no idea what he would have done in her place. He knew more than anyone the sacrifices needed to become an idol. He'd left home, moved to a new country alone, needed to learn a whole new culture and language, gave up sleep and friends and so many other things to try to achieve a dream he still hadn't fully given up on eight years later. This woman had done everything Jackson had, but she had made it. She was living her dream and making all that she had given up worth it. The possibility that all of what she worked for could have been gone in the blink of an eye was frankly terrifying. Choosing to carry the baby to term in spite of everything it could have cost her was remarkably brave of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson didn't even know her, but he respected her and was grateful for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom nodded. "She did. She even participated in a comeback during her first trimester since she found out just before promotions. In the face of all it could have cost her, she made the decision to have the baby. And I know I will never be able to thank her enough or express my gratitude for that choice. Her decision was to carry the baby, deliver it, and then she wanted nothing to do with it again. She didn't want a child, but she still wanted her baby to live a good life. I don't blame her for her choice, I didn't then and I don't now, and if she ever reaches out expressing an interest to be in Jaemi's life I would be open to discussing what that might look like."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How did her agency handle the news?" Jackson asked, unsure he wanted to know the answer. And idol pregnancy would be scorched earth from what Jackson had heard during his time as a trainee. Utterly devastating for an idol's image and career, the group and the company would face severe backlash from it too if it got out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They honestly did a spectacular job of covering the whole thing up. There were some rumours, but that was all. It was reported to the fans that she was injured and went into hiding with some family in a small town outside Daegu. She didn't actually start showing at all until she was about five months in. She didn't get noticeably pregnant until she was around seven months so she was still able to go out and about for most of her pregnancy without it being obvious she was pregnant. I'm sure that she suffered a lot more than what she told me and I have no doubt that the company and her group mates were furious with her. If there was any concrete evidence of her pregnancy in the news she would have been fired immediately, of that I'm sure. But her group was pretty popular at the time and she was a very well-liked member of that group. Not to mention the company had just gone through a pretty serious scandal with another of their idols so they were probably looking to make as few waves as possible with this situation."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, whoever she was had risked so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The timing of it probably saved her career if I'm honest," Jaebeom continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What made you decide to raise her on your own?" Jackson asked, curious about why a single, twenty four year old man would choose the responsibility of taking on a child all by himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom didn't answer at first, just swirled his beer around for a few moments. "It just didn't feel right, giving her up for adoption. I only ever considered it seriously for like ten minutes. It just never felt like an option for me. It wasn't the baby's fault that her parents were the victims of some unfortunate twist of fate and bad odds. Every time I thought of my child going to an orphanage with a bunch of other kids… About the possibility she might not get adopted or that she might not get to have a loving family… I just felt sick." His face twisted and Jackson suspected the idea still made him sick to this day. "I understood why her birth mother had made the choice she did, but what excuse did I have? Producers don't get shunned and exiled from the industry for having kids. We don't have insane, all-hours of the night and day schedules, or international concerts and events. I had the finances to take care of her; at least I thought I did," he grimaced. "I really hadn't had any idea how expensive babies were."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My parents were on board the whole time and were a phenomenal support system for me after she was born, so I wasn't alone. It just felt so selfish of me to even <em>think</em> about giving her up when I had the means to take care of her, to fix my mistake." He made a sour face. "I don't like calling her a mistake. She is, with absolute certainty, the best thing that has ever happened to me. She wasn't planned, but she wasn't a mistake either."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemi was so lucky. Jaebeom loved her so much. Jackson smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do plan on telling Jaemi who her mother is eventually. Her mother said I could when the time was right and with the condition that I not reach out to her after Jaemi knew," Jaebeom said. "But her mother is still actively promoting and Jaemi likes to watch music shows. It's partly for my own selfish reasons because I'm sure she'll ask questions that I don't have answers for, but I also don't want my daughter to watch tv every few months and have to see the woman who gave her up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson wasn't so sure that was it. Having a child at twenty one might have been terrifying for this woman. She was barely an adult herself. Jackson had no idea what her financial or familial support system was like or if she had been as lucky as Jaebeom had. If she was kicked out of her company for the pregnancy, which was pretty much a given how the industry worked, she'd be out of a job and wouldn't be able to get hired for at least a year, assuming she could find an agency who would accept her after the scandal and be willing to work around a mother's schedule.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson wasn't sure if this woman gave Jaemi <em>up</em>, Jackson thought she might have been giving Jaemi a <em>chance</em>. A chance at a stable and comfortable life that this woman might not have been sure she could have offered her child. She might have loved Jaemi, in her own way, and giving her up was just her way of showing it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, Jackson didn't know this woman at all. Maybe she had no emotional attachment to the baby at all. Maybe she simply didn't want children but was against abortion. Maybe he was grossly overthinking things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson pushed this unknown woman from his mind. She didn't matter anymore. Now Jackson knew there were no emotional landmines to accidentally step on and since she had no contact with either Jaebeom or Jaemi, Jackson told himself not to waste any more brain cells on her. She was living her life and they were living theirs. Thinking about her reasons for doing what she did would do him no good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They moved onto lighter more general topics of conversation for the rest of the evening. It just felt so much more intimate than their usual conversation. No Jaemi to pop in and interrupt every few minutes, both of them were settled into Jaebeom's couch, Jaebeom had turned sideways at some point and his knee was pressed against Jackson's thigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson finally realized why he liked Jaebeom so much. He didn't have to pretend to be anything when it came to Jaebeom. Jaebeom saw right through his bullshit and Jackson stopped trying to impress him. He didn't need to. Jaebeom was genuinely interested in what Jackson thought about everything and was always open to going more into conflicting points of view. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so refreshing to talk to. Like a fresh breeze blowing through a stale and stuffy room. Jackson hadn't realized how dull his life had become, how stagnant and repetitive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom and Jaemi were new and refreshing and unpredictable and Jackson was <em>living</em> for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom hid another yawn behind his hand. The third one in about twenty minutes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's getting late," Jackson said, checking the time on his phone. "I should probably be heading home." It was only ten o'clock, which was laughably early for Jackson, but being a single parent to Jaemi was no easy job. Jaebeom was probably exhausted at the end of every day. Plus tomorrow was Monday and Jackson and Jaebeom both needed to be at work in the morning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, okay," Jaebeom said, looking disappointed. "I'll walk you to the door."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were quiet on the short walk, both of them hesitating in the foyer, seemingly unsure what to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know you'll yell at me for thanking you again for today," Jaebeom said eventually. "So I won't thank you. But I do hope that you know how much I appreciate that you were so willing to drop everything and come help us when we needed you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was quiet and in the dimly lit foyer somehow sounded much more serious than it had on the living room couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson looked at him. "You two are important to me," he said, not quite the confession that he had wanted to give, but still a confession nonetheless. "I'm happy that you trusted me with Jaemi and that I was able to help you out." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew it wasn't easy for Jaebeom to let go of Jaemi like that. He was all she had and he was so used to doing everything for her. Jackson was certain that leaving her with someone new was a very uncomfortable feeling for Jaebeom, even if he did trust Jackson. Change was always uncomfortable and when it came to something he cherished as much as he did his daughter.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom smiled. "You're important to us too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackson should say it now<em>. I like you. Go out with me. </em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Jackson had thought about it and Jaebeom had definitely seemed more <em>comfortable</em> than flirty tonight. While Jackson was happy with comfortable, it wasn't enough to give him the confidence to proceed with his feelings yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, he wasn't going home unhappy. He felt like something had shifted in their relationship today and they were closer than they had been twenty four hours ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the time being, that was enough for Jackson. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fun fact: this chapter was originally supposed to end with Jinyoung finally making an appearance and driving Jackson home. I swapped it out for the foyer scene instead. Jinyoung will now appear much later. </p><p>Also, I hadn't realized that my twitter dms weren't open until recently, so I apologize for that. Feel free to send me a dm about anything you want! I love hearing from you guys 💚 you can find me @musicaniawrites</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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